To Pull a Prank or Two
by koinux
Summary: Sasuke is overly obsessive over an unexpected color-PINK! Then Naruto says something very inappriopriate. What will a vengeful Sasuke do next against Naruto? Full of chaos and confusion and randomness! CH11! KIBA DID A WHAT?
1. The Obsession and the Pervert

My first Fanfic. It is a bit pervy and insane and you don't like pervy and insane stuff? Don't read. Don't say I didn't warn you. evil grin Story was inspired as I thought over my eighth grade year and my pervy friends. Read and Review please. No flames because I warned you already.. heh heh heh... By the way. DISCLAIMER!! Naruto does not belong to me. STORY IS DEDICATED TO MY SOCIAL STUDIES GROUP - MY FRIENDS PATTY SHERLYNN SUZY AND TRISHA...  
  
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Whenever Sasuke got up from his beauty sleep, he always showered. He always brushed his teeth after that, washed his face, and did the regular things – you should know, I mean, I'm sure you do the same things yourself. After he did all that morning stuff, it was then when he really, really started his day off with a glass of milk and... PINK STRAWBERRY DANIMALS YOGURT!!!! He usually ate at least three of these (even though they were so damn small) because he didn't want to become fat.  
  
"Can't get out of this _wonderful, manly, awesome_ shape that I already have!!" he chuckled as he posed in front of the mirror.  
  
But why did he eat **Danimals** pink strawberry yogurt? Why not **Dannon** or **Breyers**? The reason was _its taste and its color_. Oh, how he loved the _sweet, sour, and tangy_ taste of his beloved yogurt. And the color!!! That was something he could not resist. The beautiful pink color... it was of red mixed with white. He loved that color. He would never ever let other people make fun of his favorite color. In fact, he was so obsessed over the color that he had Hello Kitty Pink slippers, socks, blankets, pillows, pillow covers, toothbrushes, cups, towels, stuffed animals, and many other of the needed things. He even had Hello Kitty pencils, pens, pencil cases, and other accessories like that. That was how obsessed he was. Heck, he even had a _100% hot pink bathroom._ The bathtub, toilet, sink, walls, ceiling, and counter were all pink... He never allowed anyone into his personal bathroom. The people might do something terrible to his lavatory facility. And he could never ever accept that. He would kill.  
  
But his obsession didn't stop there. Sometimes, he would even go to Morning Glory and other "girl stores" to just stare at the walls and walls of pinkness. Sometimes, a store employee would come up and ask if he was buying a gift for his girlfriend. Inside, Sasuke seethed. He didn't need/want/have a girlfriend!!!! He was too good for those low down little pain in the asses and oh, how he wanted to avoid them. So instead of giving a five hour lecture to the store's worker about how much better he was, he mumbled "no". Yes, he was actually being nice this time. Next time, he would definitely blow. MUAHAHAHAHHAHAA!!!!  
  
In fact, Sasuke was already thinking about creating his Ideal World. His Ideal World would be the perfect place. He would have everything pink, white red, or black, but everything had to be mostly pink. In his Ideal World the pinkness would overwhelm everything else... and his clan would be there too to enjoy it with him. Not his mom, dad, and evil Itachi brother, but his new family. His sons, daughters, and wife. He could just picture all the pinkness, fun, laughter,... It was perfect. And, yes, Sasuke was indeed obsessed in one day creating his Ideal World. He would also be the king and ruler of it all... yes, he sought power, and he was going to get it!! MUAHAHAHHAHHAHA!!!!!  
  
Anyways, back to his morning routine. As he gulped down that scrumptious pink yogurt, he fed his pet rabbit, Qutey, carrots, lettuce, the usual "rabbit stuff". Sometimes, for Qutey's happiness he would give her some pink yogurt as well. Then he would talk and ramble. It usually went like this.  
  
"Oh, Qutely Wooty, you so_ damnn _hot! I love you Qutey Wooty you so_ dammnn_ cute!! I love you so much you Qutey Wooty. Mamma's gonna go out training okay?? I'll be sure to bring something good for you to eat, Qutey Wooty. Don't you look soo _dammn_ fi-i-i-ine. I love your white furrrrr today!! And I love your _red and beautiful _eyes!! (Even though they're not as pretty as my Sharingan eyes and that's the truth!! I'm just sooo much better than everyone else although I love you more than all of those...asses and you know it too...) And I love the pink skin that shows through your beautiful white fuuuurrrrrrr!! Oh, how I love you!! _Qutey Wooty Qutey Wooty Qutey Wooty Qutey Wooty..._"  
  
That's not even one of his worst rambles. Sometimes there was insane laughter that went along with it when he told Qutey how he was gonna kick the blondie Naruto's ass. During these incessant rambles, Qutey sat in her cage (IT WAS A HELLO KITTY ONE TOO!!) and ate... and ate... and got fat... and pooped...  
  
Today, Sasuke had almost completed his morning events when he realized... IT WAS QUTEY'S BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! OH NO OH NO WHAT SHALL I DO???? IT'S HER BIRTHDAY AND I HAVE NOTHING TO GIVE HER!!!" he broke down sobbing. Then he suddenly jumped up. "NO!! I STILL HAVE A CHANCE TO MAKE HER HAPPY! I'LL GO TO MORNING GLORY AND BUY HER SOME HELLO KITTY STUFF..." and he continued his rant and how he would give any employee that got in his way his five hour speech of how much better he was than all those girls... NO!! HOW HE WAS BETTER THAN ALL OF THEM LOW DOWN EMPLOYEES!! AHAHAHHAHAH!!  
  
---- Scene Change ----  
  
A group of people waited outside Ichiraku Ramen for it to open. It was Rock Lee's birthday and he had invited everyone along to eat for breakfast (what the heck!?!). But everyone came as to not hurt his feelings. Rock Lee was the first there, being how punctual he was. Neji and Tenten arrived next. Then Hinata did. She wanted to wait for Na-na-na-ru-ru-to-o- k-kun-un. Then the late people arrived. Sakura and Ino had had to do their hair, Naruto and Shikamaru slept in (like always), Chouji came late to walk with Shikamaru, Kiba had had to take care of his dogs, and Shino... he didn't state his reason...  
  
"Okay!! Let's go EAT!!!!" Rock Lee yelled. But there was a problem. OH NO!!!!!!! WHERE WAS SASUKE?? The girls started freaking out while the guys were just like _whatever...man, whatever...  
_  
Then they saw him - strolling down the street with his yummy pink yogurt in one hand and a small plastic spoon in the other. He was slowly eating to his heart's desire... until he saw everyone staring at him. There was a moment of silence. Then everyone began to talk. Rock Lee was trying to usher them inside, the girls obsessing over Sasuke and yelling that they also loved Pink Danimals Yogurt (for crying out loud, they actually hated it), Naruto was yelling "SASUKE YOU BASTARD!" Hinata was saying "Na-na-naru- naruto-to-k-k-kun..." while the other people talked among themselves with Shikamaru saying it was all too much and too troublesome.  
  
---- An hour later... ----  
  
Sasuke had refused to buy Ramen because he was already and still eating his yummy yogurt. Everyone else had already finished their ramen and was just... hanging out. That's when the trouble started. Naruto skipped over to Sasuke.  
  
"OOOHH!! DANIMALS PINK STRAWBERRY YOGURT!! How very tasty!"  
  
"Urusei... dobe..."  
  
Naruto snapped. "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME??"  
  
"You heard me baka! Dobe..."  
  
"ARGH!!! URUSEI BAKA I'M-SO-COOL-SASUKE!"  
  
"No... you total moron..."  
  
Then Naruto suddenly got an idea and calmed down so fast, it scared everyone. "Sasuke-**chan**... (here Sasuke snapped) do you know what pink yogurt is?"  
  
Sasuke stared at him. "**Yes** and you're the one who doesn't."  
  
"NUH-UH! Want me to tell you what it is?"  
  
Sasuke pretended to feel indifferent about Naruto's explanation, but deep inside he was ver, very, VERY, interested.  
  
"I'll tell you what it is." Naruto chuckled. "Try to picture this in your head..."  
  
---- Naruto's Story ----  
  
There once was a very gayass man who wanted to become a woman. He took steroids, hormones, got plastic surgery... you know. The usual stuff. As he was going throught the process of... change, he suddenly decided to become both man and woman. The doctors protested and lectured him, but to no avail. He had made up his mind already and there was no changing it. And so, the man kept his male organs and got new female organs. People shunned him and children were taught to keep away from the gayass-weirdo. He was upset and before he knew it, he got his first period. The man was so surprised, but he learned how to... control it. Then, one night, as his period was still happening, he ejaculated in his sleep. And when he woke up and went to the bathroom and looked down, boy was he so damned surprised. And... well... that was the first creation of pink yogurt.  
  
Blood Semen = Pink Sticky Stuff = PINK YOGURT!!  
  
---- End of Naruto's Story ----  
  
Everyone was so shocked at this. "Naruto...is... **PERVERTED**???" They screamed in their minds... then out loud. Naruto realized what he just said and... turned beat red... no redder than that actually. He was hit on the head about a hundred times and he cried... like a baby. After everyone was done screaming at Naruto and yelling "MY VIRGIN EARS!!!!!!!" And stuff like that, they all paused to look at Sasuke. The look on his face was priceless. And everyone choked back their laughter.  
  
Sasuke was staring at Naruto with a mixture of "WTF?!?!" anger, "DID NARUTO REALLY SAY THAT?!?!" confusion, "EWWWW THAT WAS DISGUSTING!!!" disgust, "OH MY GOD!!!!!!!" surprise, and "I CAN'T BEAR TO EAT PINK DANIMALS STRAWBERRY YOGURT ANYMORE!!" sadness. The yogurt and spoon slipped from his hands and... Sasuke got a nose bleed, fainted, and his head went straight into the now shunned pink yogurt.  
  
---- Scene Change ----  
  
Sasuke woke up in his room. How long had he slept there? He wasn't so sure but... it didn't quite matter. He thought about what happened at the Ramen Shop... and got a nosebleed again. He ran to the bathroom to throw up after that. When he was finally done, he glanced at the time. _FOUR O'CLOCK?!?!?!_ He had slept the whole morning and afternoon away!! Then he remembered two terrible things... it was Qutey's B-day and he still had nothing to give, and he could no longer eat his wonderful pink yogurt. Sasuke buried his head in his hands and bawled... like a baby... but he suddenly stopped and smiled a very Grinchy smile. He would get revenge on Naruto. Ohhhh, yeesss. Revenge. That sweet word was like honey to his eyes and lips. Revenge... HAHAHAHHAHAHA yes, he would somehow get back at Naruto. He would somehow make Naruto look like a fool! AHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! What he would give to see Naruto the way he was today... NO! Sasuke stabbed that thought. NO. Naruto would feel worse than Sasuke did today. 100 times worse... MUAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA! Sasuke got out a piece of paper and jotted down all the things he could do to make Naruto realize that he was just so much better than he was. Ohhhh, yessss.... Perhaps he would even join Orochimaru to gain enough power to make Naruto look vulnerable and helpless. Ohhh, yesss...  
  
And Sasuke wrote all this... in his beloved Hello Kitty Diary that came with dainty and small keys and a dainty silver small lock.  
  
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Well, how did you like it? Review please! Remember, no flames, too. I warned you at the beginning already that it was pervy and insane. There might be a sequel or later chapters, yet there might not be. Ehheh... It all depends, yes, it all depends...


	2. Revenge

Ahhh... so the second chapt is up. Sorry if it's not as funny as the first. I was kinda not happy when I wrote it? OO" Anyways its again full of insanity, don't likt don't read. By the way THANKS FOR YOUR REVIEWS x3 I x3 love x3 you x3 so x3 much x3 so anyways... enjoy the chapter!! It was a bit funny to write...

Thanks to the following people..

Ro-Zu Crimson, kashisenshey, TheGreatAnimeFan, kaekeo... i love you lots  
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**The Revenge**  
  
Sasuke knew that he had to get back at Naruto for dissing his precious pink yogurt but the question was... **_how?_** He could easily _kill _him if needed. But Sasuke decided _humiliating _him was a much better idea. And he listed all his ideas in his Hello Kitty hot pink diary.  
  
He could...

1.Find Naruto's weakness and expose it

2.Pick a fight with him and make him lose badly

3.Make up a perverted story about Naruto's ramen

4.Get a picture of Naruto to blackmail him with

5.Go to Naruto's house and find something embarrassing to tell everyone about.

6.Play a prank on Naruto (eg. Put hair dye in his shampoo)  
  
Sasuke looked at his list. After much debating and deciding and weighing of choices, he decided to do all of the above... except make up a perverted story about Naruto's ramen and playing a prank on Naruto. "Better not **tarnish **my_ awesomely cool reputation_ and _playing a prank_ is just so _goddamn **low**_. I'm just too_ good_ for that," he smirked. And so his plan went into action  
  
-----Scene Change-----  
  
Sasuke sneaked towards Naruto's house the next morning with a camera and some toast (no, he didn't eat pink yogurt anymore, he wasn't a that much of a sick person) to find something to make Naruto all embarrassed about. Luckily, Naruto was at the ramen bar at that time (oh, how Sasuke hated the ramen bar where his reputation was dirtied. He hated that awful place and he will never go there again. EVER) and he never locked his door anyways, being the total dobe, baka, moron, fckhead he was.  
  
Sasuke entered with stealth. He began with the inspection of Naruto's living room. It was quite messy and it smelled of clothes that were never washed (the orange shirts and pants were all over the sofa, thrown carelessly of course). Sasuke stepped daintily, not wanting to **dirty **his new Nike Sneakers that was worth a hundred dollars [plus tax] that were just _waaaaaayyyy _too good and high class to be there. However, nothing there was really of help to Sasuke's plan. He continued through the house, but nothing was of help to him. Sasuke bit his lip with frustration. WHAT NOW? He suddenly came to a door in Naruto's room.  
  
"Hmmm..." he thought. "What's in here?"  
  
He tried to open the door, but found it was locked.  
  
"DARN IT!" He yelled in his mind.  
  
Then he saw the key right above his head on a hook.  
  
"Heh heh... what an idiot for locking the door but leaving the key," Sasuke muttered.  
  
Sasuke entered, but it was pitch black in there. His hands felt for the light switch, but many times, he brushed into some stuff that was silky and fluffy... he didn't want to think about it. As soon as he flicked the switch on, he gasped. And he had to stop himself from screaming out loud with surprise.  
  
-----Scene Change-----  
  
Naruto continued slurping his ramen at the Ichiraku Ramen Bar. Yum Yum, how he just loved this place!!! After he finished about twenty bowls of ramen, Naruto decided to go home to ... um... (he thought for about half an hour) ...sleep? Yeah, that sounded good. Naruto smiled as he made some more plans in his head.  
  
"OH YEAH!!!!! I can also do ...that... heeheeheeheehee... It will be sooooo much fun..."  
  
-----Scene Change-----  
  
Sasuke stared around him in wonder. This was Naruto's **_walk in closet_**?!?!?!?! It was... DISGUSTING... because around hung all types of clothes he never dreamed Naruto would have... in other words... HE NEVER KNEW NARUTO WAS A **CROSS DRESSER**!! I guess every day you learn something... but ANYWAYS!!

Around him hung a hundred dresses (and other clothes I won't describe) that had glitter, fluffy stuff, beads, and all else sewn into them. There was also a large mirror on one side of the closet. Sasuke couldn't imagine Naruto stripping himself, picking out an outfit, and trying it on. Besides, how often would Naruto cross dress and model himself in the mirror anyways?? Sasuke got a hold of himself (yes, you know that he wanted to try all them dammmnn hot dresses on) and snapped five pictures of the closet contents.  
  
Then his attention turned to a little dresser like thing in the corner. To his utter horror, he found lipstick, mascara, eye liner, blush, body glitter, and all sorts of make up equipment on top of the dresser. There were about twenty different colors and shades of the colors he adored – pink and red – of each kind of make up ...stuff. The mini make up salon was complete with a circular mirror that could be flipped around (you know what I'm talking about right?) Sasuke busied himself as he adjusted the mirror up... and down... up... and down... for about five minutes. To top it all off, the mirror edges were hot pink. He was so _daaammnn _jealous of Naruto that he had a mirror this cool. **He wanted one too!!  
**  
Life just wasn't fair for Uchiha Sasuke. And he had so many reasons to prove it. First, he couldn't eat pink Danimals yogurt from then on, then he was humiliated by Uzumaki Naruto the gayass, and then he couldn't buy anything for his precious rabbit Qutey (he went shopping, but strangely, all the stores were closed)... and now this. After he was finally over his awe with the mirror and complaints, he snapped some pictures of the make up corner and then he opened the dresser's drawers to find......  
  
"WHAT THE HE- HE- **HELL**????" he gagged.  
  
Inside was a large assortment of bras and lady's underwear. He was speechless with fright that Naruto even had these. He reluctantly snapped pictures of the dresser's contents and slammed it shut fast, face turning red. Then he saw what scared him the most. There were framed pictures of Naruto in dresses and... bras and lady's underwear above the dresser. What was even worse was that in the pictures, Naruto was trying his best to pose in all the sexy ways he knew... in his... garments.  
  
In one pic, he was wearing a strapless red glitter dress and matching high heels with make up professionally done on his face and his hair actually combed nicely. Naruto was smiling a HUGE FREAKY GRIN with one arm behind his head, the other arm at his side, and his hips off to one side sort of just sticking out.  
  
On the picture, Naruto had written, "My Casual Yet Sexy Pose Number 569 With My Best Dress and High Heels On."  
  
That was just an example of Naruto's Personal Photos. Sasuke nearly got a nosebleed from all of those pictures and he couldn't believe how sick Naruto was, **mentally **that is. It seemed to him that telling everyone about this closet would be the perfect way to humiliate him. Sasuke smiled and was about to start off with his evil laugh that usually went like this – "EE HEEE HEEE HEEE HEEE HEEEE" – when he heard the front door open downstairs. Then Naruto's voice floated up singing a song.  
  
"I'VE GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS DEEDLE DEEDLE AND THERE THEY ARE A- STANDING IN A ROW _[here Naruto grunted three times like HMN HMN HMN]_ BIG ONES SMALL ONES SOME AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD!!!..."  
  
Sasuke panicked. He quickly snapped more pictures of the walk-in-closet and then slid out fast, turning the lights off, locking the door, and hanging the key back on the hook all in one not so smooth and Sasuke-like motion. Then he looked for a fast exit. Naruto's voice continued to float up to him.  
  
"I really like that song but I sang it too many times... OH I KNOW!!!" Naruto got ready to sing again. "TELLY TUBBIES!! TELLY TUBBIES!! SAY. HELL. OH!! HELLO!!!"  
  
Sasuke winced. TELLY TUBBIES?? **WHADDA**... and then Sasuke saw that Naruto's bedroom window was open, was big enough for him, and had a tree just outside of it. Sasuke dove out and used chakra to stick to the tree. He quickly ran to the other side to hide.  
  
"ACK!! I FORGOT THE LYRICS!! NOOOOOO!!!!! I'LL SING... UM..." There was a pause. "CAN YOU TELL ME HOW TO GET TO SESAME STREE-EE-EE-EE-EEEEET???"  
  
Sasuke shuddered visibly and walked down the tree carefully. Then he slid himself against it and continued hiding.  
  
"ACKKK! I FORGOT THOSE LYRICS TOO!! I'LL SING... I KNOW!!"  
  
And that's when Sasuke made his getaway. He would so get his revenge, whether Naruto liked it or not. MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!  
  
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Well, well? How was it? Please tell me and no flames if you're gonna review. Forgive me if my humor was faltering a bit in the story. ::frowns:: heh... There will be more chapters I suppose... heh heh heh...


	3. Action

A chapter up already!?!?!?! Wow... I have three chapters up within... **_three days_**??? Whoa... but this is just so fun...  
  
Eh heh heh heh heh... **more insanity and no pervertedness** [I think] in this chapter too. **Naruto sings Disney**!! You'll know what I mean when you read it. Just wanted to say my bro helped me out a little... VERY LITTLE... so most is still mine... xP  
  
Anyways thanks for all the reviews _love you so very mucho much_ =DD  
  
x3 Stizzo x3 Yuki-Chan x3 Lost Dream x3 greedyxangel [ASHLEY I KNOW YOU ARE THIS PERSON XP] x3 TheGreatAnimeFan [again 3] x3 Sora-Ookami x3  
  
Same Disclaimers apply!! I Don't own Naruto or the song he sings... except I changed the lyrics around... a little... ::cough:: I mean a lot... heh heh heh  
  
ENJOY THE CHAPTER! I like this one very much... Eh heh heh heh...  
  
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**Action**  
  
While Sasuke was making his very low class getaway from Naruto [wow... Sasuke is actually running from the blondie], Naruto was making his way upstairs to his... special ::cough gag cough:: ... closet. He unlocked the closet and... he didn't notice that someone had been there already [wow... what a loser... seriously].  
  
"Eh heh heh heh heh heh... time for fun!!!" He turned the lights on in the walk-in-closet so begins his Cross Dressing Ritual.  
  
Naruto cleared his throat a couple of times and launched into his ritual opening song...  
  
-----Naruto's Song-----  
  
By the way "blahblahblah" is singing, 'blahblahblah' is talking, ::blahblahblah:: is action, and / blahblahblah / is what I'm thinking/doing/saying (the author)  
  
"Look at this stuff, isn't it neat?" ::Points to the stuff around his closet::  
  
"Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?" ::Looks around closet::  
  
"Wouldn't you think I'm the girl" 'I MEAN GUY!! So... let's see... where was I?'  
  
"Wouldn't you think I'm the gi---GUY!" ::Points to himself hastily::  
  
"The gi---GUY! The Guy who has ev'rything??" ::Motions to Dresses::  
  
"Look at this trove, treasures untold" ::Looks around::  
  
"How many wonders can one cavern hold?" ::Looks around again::  
  
"Looking around here you'd think" ::Points to head::  
  
'Sure,' ::Nods head::  
  
"She---"  
  
'I MEAN HE!'  
  
"Sh— HE'S - got ev'rything!!" ::Scratches head in frustration::  
  
"I've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty" ::Points to dresses and Lady's underwear::  
  
"I've got whozits" ::Picks up Lipstick::  
  
"And whatzits galore" ::Picks up Mascara, Puts it down quickly::  
  
"You want thingamabobs?" ::Picks a bra up::  
  
"I've got twenty"  
  
'Actually I have fifty but who cares. No one will know that.'  
  
/ me -- cough!! Gag!! Everyone knows... /  
  
::Naruto Puts bra down:: He continues to sing his heart out.  
  
"But who cares?" ::SIGHS::  
  
"No big deal" ::Shrugs::  
  
"I want mooooooooooorrrrrrrre" ::Spins around in closet::  
  
"I wanna have the Hokage name" ::nods head::  
  
"I also love and want to cross dress" ::nods head yet again::  
  
"Strolling in those..." ::tilts head in thinking position::  
  
'What do you call them? Oh..' ::smiles::  
  
"SKIIIIIRRRRRTTTSSSSS" ::smiles and points to his skirts::  
  
"Putting on Make-up" ::points to make-up corner::  
  
"Wearing High Heels" ::points to shoes under all his clothes::  
  
"And doing my hair everyday" ::points to brush, comb, bows, ribbons, then his head::  
  
"What would I give" ::swoons around::  
  
"Wish I could have" ::starts to strip (to cross dress)::  
  
"My Dreams come true..."  
  
-----Scene Changes-----  
  
Yes, I think I oughta change scenes before something drastic occurs... So... BACK TO THE STORY...  
  
Sasuke ran and ran to his house, puffing and huffing in a totally low class run down way (he knew that was so very uncool) but he had to get away fast! What if Naruto found out that he found out Naruto's **greatest secret**? (Maybe? Maybe not...) But either way, Naruto would probably turn into his big fox mode and kill Sasuke with ease. So, consequently, Sasuke ran for his dear life.  
  
When he finally got home, he took a shower in his _oh-so-hot-pink_ bathroom to wash off Naruto's _stench_... and his uncoolness. After all was done, he grabbed Strawberry Pocky (I know someone requested this), said another love rant to his bunny, said goodbye to him, and ran to his study where his pink **Hello Kitty Limited Edition Hot Pink Super Reliable Computer and Printer and all else was!!!** Yes, he had paid a dear price for all of it, but ANYWAYS! He turned the PC on and got to work. He transferred his pictures from his Sony (he couldn't exactly carry around a Hello Kitty digi cam into public, now, could he?) digital camera and printed them out. He did his best not to gaze at the pictures of Naruto's Secret Room, or he would well... how would you feel? So, he quickly stuffed them into an envelope, then into his pocket, and ran out to um... show everyone his... "prize".  
  
-----Scene Change-----  
  
The Rookie and Team Gai Group were just standing around enjoying the day at Sasuke's most hated restaurant called Ichiraku Ramen when Sasuke arrived at the scene. Of course, the whole group wasn't there because obviously Naruto wasn't (yup, we all know just where he is). Everyone was there except Neji (who also thought he was just so much better than everyone else) and Hinata (No reason why). Sasuke casually (that is the key word people, _CASUALLY_) walked up to the group, still munching on his Strawberry Pocky [perhaps this would be the replacement for his Pink Danimals Yogurt? ... Only time would tell]. Of course, everyone said Hi to him and asked him for a Pocky stick because (this is what Sasuke thought) they all knew he deserved the utmost respect because he is the _high class number one rookie last survivor of the Uchiha clan _named Uchiha Sasuke. That was what he thought (again, key word. **Thought**. It doesn't quite make it true.) Sasuke calmly edged out the envelope from his pocket and slid it next to Kiba, who was being himself (the loud badass mouth) like always. Sasuke knew if the loud mouth found out, he would tell everyone, and everyone would know a lot more quickly.  
  
"Hey, Sasuke what's this?"  
  
"Something out of the ordinary."  
  
"Cool, can I see?"  
  
By now, everyone was crowding to see what Sasuke had for them. They all crowded around Kiba.  
  
"No **duh**, baka, that's why I gave it to you." Sasuke retorted. "Geez, don't these people have _brains_?!?!" he thought.  
  
"OKAY!!" Kiba yelled cheerfully. He slowly opened the envelope while doing the exact opposite of what his friends were telling him to do.  
  
"Open it faster, Dog Butt!!" Ino yelled.  
  
"I KNOW RIGHT! You smell of dog shit," Sakura stated firmly.  
  
Kiba snapped, glared at everyone around him and said, "HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!!!!" And he launched into his _five hour rant_ about how he was not a dog ass, but a dog owner that had a dog who had a dog butt [obviously] and how he never smelled like dog shit in the first place. Everyone covered their ears as they tried hard not to listen to what they imagined as just howls, barks, woofs, and whines (yup, in other words they weren't listening to Kiba).  
  
Shikamaru, being the clever guy AND **CHUUNIN** that he is, slid the envelope out of Kiba's grasp without him noticing anything – nothing at all (he's just as stupid as Naruto). They all ignored Kiba as he continued to rant and scream his dog ass off. And, you can all imagine their faces when they found out what was in the evelope and what it was all about (they were not smart enough to figure out it was Sasuke's Revenge Plan).  
  
"HOLY F%&K!!" They yelled. Everyone on the streets and in the ramen shop stared at the group of kids. And that shut them up... for a second or two. And boy, did they laugh, wince, groan, and stare at every single picture that Sasuke took. After it was all over and Naruto's secret was exposed, they congratulated on a job well done to Sasuke and... he began to feel high and mighty again.  
  
-----An Hour Later-----  
  
It was a rather hot day and everyone was hungry. But they didn't exactly want hot soup and noodles for lunch (Eating hot stuff on a hot day? ... nnnoooo.). They were all trying to decided on a cheap fast-food-like restaurant where they could eat. Nobody really knew of any good eating place. So, Sasuke suggested the idea that they should eat at Bob's Hop Submarine Shop. Surprisingly, nobody had thought about that place yet and they all agreed. They were about to leave when...  
  
"We should ask Naruto to come too."  
  
Everyone turned to look at Sakura.  
  
"We should go to his house, ask him to come with us, and see if his Secret Room really exists."  
  
"Are you questioning Sasuke's story about Naruto cross dressing?" Ino asked. "Cause if you are, you know that Sasuke would never lie."  
  
"No, INO-PIG CHAN. I just want to see it all for myself."  
  
And that's when the trek to Naruto's house started.  
  
-----Scene Change-----  
  
Everyone arrived at Naruto's house at the same time (no, duh) and Sakura was the one who knocked on the door. A muffled cry came from the inside.  
  
"WHO IS IT?!?! DAMNIT!!!"  
  
Sakura twitched. "IT'S ME NARUTO!! OPEN THE DOOR!!"  
  
The door swung open. "Oh... GOOD MORNING SAKURA-CHAN!!"  
  
Sakura twitched yet again. The she sweatdropped... a HUGE sweatdrop. "It's like one o'clock already..."  
  
"Oh..."  
  
There was a long moment of silence.  
  
"So um... Naruto.... We're going to eat at **Bob's Hop Submarine Shop** to eat now. Want to come?" Sakura asked.  
  
There was yet another moment of silence.  
  
"You're talking to me right?..."  
  
CRASH!! Everyone fell over.  
  
"NO DUH YOU DUMBASS BLONDE!!" Ino, Sakura, Kiba and other hyper-active people yelled.  
  
"Oh... okay! I gotta uh... lock up first! Wait outside okay?"  
  
SLAM! And Naruto shut the door to prevent them from coming into his house to see what he was going to do. Damnit!!" everyone thought. "I wanted to see the closet!" Five minutes later, he was all ready to go. "  
  
"OKAY!! TIME TO EAT!!" Naruto yelled and ran ahead. Everyone sweatdropped again.  
  
-----Scene Change-----  
  
When they finally arrived at **Bob's Hop Submarine Shop**, they placed their orders for a sub and a drink and whatever else they wanted. Sasuke forced Naruto to go save a table for all of them and then assured Naruto that he would personally carry Naruto Sub Order to him as he sat waiting. Naruto obviously liked the very idea of Sasuke being his slave and he ran off happily to find a seat. Sasuke snickered. "Dobe..."  
  
Yet, Sasuke was true to his word. He picked up both his and Naruto's order from the cashier place and took it to the counter where they had extra stuff that you could add to your sub for free. He picked up a container, looked at its label and grinned wickedly. A plan was already forming in his sinister mind.  
  
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Well, well? How was that? It's a bit longer than the other chapters I suppose. Tell me if it was funny or not. I was seriously cracking up when I wrote the first part. Eh heh heh heh... ::grins wickedly:: So anyways. WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? WHAT IS THE CONTAINER THAT I DESCRIBE? WHAT WILL BE THE NEXT INSANELY FUNNY SURPRISE THAT I HAVE FOR YOU?? Read the next chapter to find out!! Until then, good bye! And don't ask me where I got the name "Bob's Hop Submarine Shop". I have no clue.  
  
By the way, do you recognize the Disney song I used?? Eh heh heh heh heh...


	4. Problems for Naruto

YAY!! NEW CHAPTER UP! PROBLEMS FOR NARUTO! It took a while didn't it? Sorry. I was really busy over the July 4th weekend. Heh... but now I've got a new chapter up so no complaints because you have what you wanted now, right? XD This story is so fun to write.... heh heh heh... very, very fun... XD ::Whispers to self:: I am evil.... I am evil.... I am evil.... I am evil.... I am evil.... I am evil.... I am............. ::Comes out of I am Evil Trance::  
  
By the way thanks for all the wonderful reviews!!  
  
x3 tenshinoreika999 x3 Aimi-chan x3 TheGreatAnimeFan x3 phantomgamer01 x3 Lost Deam x3 PuNkRoCkBuNnY182 x3 kashisenshey x3 x3-cassie x3

Some more notes to reviewers..

PuNkRoCkBuNnY182: Nah you don't have to dedicate a story to me.

kashisenshey: Maybe i **_will_** make Hinata walk in on Naruto cross dressing LOL

TheGreatAnimeFan: LOL yeah i just might make Naruto find out about the Sasuke's Hello Kitty and Pink stuff.  
  
Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine.  
  
Further notes: my humor has been failing me lately. So bear with me if some chapters are... not that... funny? Eh heh... ::droop:: SORRY!!! Enjoy the chapter anyways...  
  
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**Problems for Naruto**  
  
Sasuke remembered that on the last mission Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi and himself had been assigned to complete had been an easy trip which consisted a lot of camping. During those camps, stops, or whatever you want to call them, Sakura was the one who did all of the cooking (her being a girl and all that). Because Naruto and Kakashi just didn't have the skill to cook (they were too lazy to do so anyway). And Sasuke covered over the fact that he liked having a servant to cook for him [he was too high up to cook anyways] by saying he also did not cook. Notice that he said did not, not could not. Sasuke always told himself that he had the skill to do anything. Consequently, he could also cook if forced to. [ _::cough::_ Everyone, cough with me! ::cough:: ]  
  
One day, Sakura had decided to make a meal that had a lot of flavor to it. She thought and thought about what to make, probing her mind for new and old recipes. Then, she decided to make some spicy stew. And that was what she did. She threw some stuff together along with hot peppers and after an hour, it was done. Everyone liked it. That is, everyone except Naruto. He had been away swimming in the river so he couldn't stop Sakura from cooking the spicy stew. And as soon as he got out and it was ready, he had taken a huge spoonful and gulped it down. His face turned green then red and he threw up seconds later. Sasuke actually thought that Naruto was pretty hot when he ate spicy stuff. After Naruto had calmed a little, he gagged out that he hated spicy stuff. The next day, the team could not keep moving along with their mission because Naruto had a humongous stomach ache from the stew.  
  
And that was what inspired Sasuke to go along with his next evil plot. The container Sasuke was holding was a bottle of "Triple Hot Pepper/Chili Sauce". It was one of those sauces that were three times as spicy as any spicy dish you had tasted before, in Naruto's case, it would be the stew he had on his last mission. Sasuke grinned at the thought of Naruto turning green and whatever other color he could possibly become (maybe pink! Sasuke decided that Naruto would really be hot and sexy with his face pink) and maybe Naruto would throw up in the sub shop while he taunted Naruto about it. Sasuke was really playing dirty this time. And he was all for it.  
  
Sasuke opened the bottle of chili sauce and dumped as much as he could into Naruto's sub. Then he put the top piece of bread back on and squashed it down with his hand. Quite a bit of sauce leaked out and Sasuke professionally wiped the surplus sauce away with a napkin. Then he poured a little bit of the Triple Hot Pepper/Chili Sauce into his own sub. He liked spicy stuff. Yes, he did. It wasn't as good as any other kind of pink stuff though. If the sauce was a pink color, who knows what Sasuke would do with it other than eat it? Probably paint his house with it but back to the story!  
  
Sasuke returned to the group with the subs. Everyone was laughing and giggling among themselves while whispering and sometimes pointing at Naruto. Naruto was oblivious to all around him – except Sasuke [HOLY SHIT!! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??].  
  
"SASUKE?? WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?! YOU SLOW SERVANT!"  
  
Sasuke's smirk vanished fast and was replaced by anger and frustration. "Oh, well, I'll have to deal with it anyways if I want this to work," Sasuke thought. He handed the food to Naruto. Naruto got up slightly from his chair to take his food. Sasuke was about to turn away when he saw something on Naruto's chair. It was a black blob of... something... Sasuke suddenly got an idea to totally humiliate Naruto.  
  
Sasuke sat down next to Shikamaru the Chuunin. He had no one else he wanted to sit with anyway. Sakura and Ino were annoying, he wouldn't fit next to Chouji, Naruto was a gay ass,... his mind continued to list his reasons for sitting next to Shikamaru. Plus, here it was not too close from Naruto to get attacked and not too far to see his reaction to his genius plan.  
  
"Hey, Dobe."  
  
"WHAT?!?"  
  
"Get up from your chair."  
  
"NO! WHY?"  
  
"Just do it."  
  
"NO!!! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!!"  
  
"Just do what he says!!" Sakura yelled. She was so obsessed over Sasuke that she would bend to his every whim.  
  
"Sakura-chan..." Naruto gazed at her for a minute then he reluctantly obliged.  
  
"Heh... what did you do to your chair Naruto?"  
  
Naruto looked down at the chair and saw the black blob.  
  
"I... I... I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!"  
  
Everyone craned their necks to see what was on Naruto's chair.  
  
"Yeah, you did." Sasuke said calmly.  
  
"EWWW....Did you crap in your pants and some of your shit leak out from a hole in your pants or something???" Ino yelled.  
  
"UGH! THAT LOOKS EVEN WORSE THAN AKAMARU'S SHIT!" Kiba cried out. Akamaru barked loudly in agreement. [Now how in the world did that dog end up in the restaurant? Aren't dogs banned from those public places?]  
  
"EWWW! And I never knew Naruto still crapped in his pants!! I think he still needs some diapers!" Sakura stated.  
  
"Hm... it looks like dark chocolate. Does your shit taste as good as Dark Chocolate?" Chouji asked.  
  
And everyone buzzed with questions and complaints and their thoughts.  
  
Meanwhile, Sasuke was pouting. HOW DARE THEY TAKE AWAY HIS REVENGE! He was the one who was supposed to say what the others were saying!! It was his idea! It was his revenge on Naruto! Naruto was supposed to get mad at him! Naruto was supposed to yell, scream, turn red with embarrassment, and challenge Sasuke to a match! Now, Naruto was yelling at Ino, Kiba, Chouji and the other low downers and challenging Kiba to a match!! While Sasuke was stuck on the outside!! He was the one who was supposed to get words of admiration from everyone for making Naruto feel bad!! He was the one who was supposed to taunt Naruto and make him feel worse! Not the others!! He was...!! He was...!! He was...!! He...  
  
Sasuke kept his thoughts to himself. If anything else happened that went against his Revenge Plan, he would.............  
  
...........would............  
  
......................**_kill_**.  
  
-----An Hour Later-----  
  
Naruto continued to argue and defend himself about the black stuff on the chair while everyone else continued to jeer at him. [He didn't sit back down on the chair by the way.] And soon, there were fewer remarks that pissed Naruto off, and he decided to start and finish eating quickly and go back home to his interesting... hobbies.  
  
Sasuke watched as Naruto picked up his sub, opened his mouth, and...  
  
Suddenly, a voice called out, "HEY NARUTO!! Do you really have a closet at home just for you to cross dress in?!?!"  
  
Naruto had already bitten into his sub and was already turning green and red at the taste. He turned even greener and redder at that question that was asked of him. He slowly turned to his group of... companions and his eyes showed confusion and fear.  
  
But, if you looked underneath the underneath like what Kakashi-sensei always tells you little boys and girls to do, you would see that Naruto basically said, "Yes. I have a closet at home just for myself to cross dress in."  
  
As soon as Sasuke saw Naruto's reaction, he wanted to lean back, put a silly smile on his face, swing his legs back and forth like a little three year old, and clap his hands in jubilation. [WHOA... imagine Sasuke like... THAT... but that's besides the point... BACK TO THE STORY... ] Oh, how _pwwweeecioooouuussss _Naruto's expression was. Sasuke absolutely adored and loved it. He suddenly felt like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. _My pwweeeeeeeeecccccccciiiiiiooooouuuuuuusssss......_  
  
Naruto, however, was not in such a state of joy and happiness and jubilation. He put down his sub and... coughed fire.  
  
Sasuke leaned over and grinned evilly. "Can't stand spicy stuff, Big Baby?"  
  
Naruto glared at him but continued to gag.  
  
"Does mommy have to bring you water? Or order you a new sub? Or take out the hot sauce from your food? Or does Mommy have to comfort you because you're upset because everyone found out your secret? Huh? Huh?" Sasuke taunted.  
  
"SHUT ::cough:: UP!! I ::cough:: LIKE THE ::cough:: SUB!!! AND... ::cough:: I DON'T CRO-CROSS DRESS!! ::gag::"  
  
Everyone found his reaction extremely funny. I mean, even Shikamaru laughed. Now, that means that was extremely funny.  
  
"Heh. Baka..." Sasuke smirked.  
  
"Y- ::cough:: YOU'RE THE ::cough:: BA- ::cough:: BAKA...!!"  
  
"No I'm not, Dobe."  
  
"SH- ::cough:: SHUT UP!! ::cough:: YOU'RE THE ONE ::cough:: THE ONE THAT ::cough:: LIKES PI- ::cough:: PINK STUFF!!"  
  
Sasuke snapped deep inside. _"There he goes again!! Insulting my color!! How dare he!! I'll kill him... KILL HIM!!!" _he screamed inside. On the outside, however, Sasuke's expression only darkened, nothing more, nothing less. He forced himself to keep cool.  
  
Naruto, however, had not felt the urge to kill Sasuke yet for making him look like a fool. He was too preoccupied on focusing how to survive from the sauce and trying to come up with a conclusion as to how his secret had been made known.  
  
"HOW... SPICY STUFF... GET IN... SUB... SECRET... FOUND... OUT... HOW..." Naruto coughed again and drained his Coca Cola Drink. But the bubbly drink hardly helped. Actually, it had the opposite effect on Naruto. It made his mouth tingle and intensify the spicy taste. Naruto spit out the soda right onto who else, but our seething dark-expressioned ice cube Uchiha Sasuke. While Sasuke had been seething, he had let his guard up on the inside, but his guard down on the outside. So he didn't have a chance of ducking the spontaneous spray of brown colored bubbly liquid.  
  
There was a long moment of silence. Everyone stopped laughing. They knew that this little incident would definitely tick the Uchiha off. And they so did not want to suffer the consequences.  
  
Sasuke stared at Naruto, Coca Cola dripping from his face, hardly believing what was happening to him. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY REPUTATION!!!!!!!!" He screamed inside. ::sob:: ::sob:: Sasuke had always focused on being sexy and cool with all the girls after him, but right now, he wasn't cool or sexy. He was.... a fool. He had made blending in with the crowd his sole goal, but now... he wasn't of the crowd. He was singled out with everyone in the store staring at him like he had sprouted pink bunny ears. Not that that was a bad thing or anything but he was so not blending right now. And that's when his fury reached its highest peak. Sasuke's blank expression turned into one of anger and hate.  
  
"YOU ARE SO. GONNA. GET IT NOW. **FOXY BOY**!" he yelled. And Sasuke crossed his arms over each other and began his most feared attack.... Chidori – also known as Raikiri or Thousand Birds or Lightning Edge. Chakra was gathered in his hand within seconds and the lightning like attack were all but safe. "WE'RE TAKING THIS OUTSIDE... NOW!!" he yelled.  
  
"I'M NOT FOXY BOY!! I'M NARUTO!!"  
  
"OH YEAH? HOW ABOUT THIS?** FOXY BOY! DOBE! MORON! BAKA! IDIOT! BLONDIE! CROSS DRESSER! FEMINIME ITEMS OWNER! LOSER!**"  
  
Naruto's eyes narrowed, but he remembered his food. He wanted to eat it fist before fighting Sasuke but it had chili sauce in it. What a dilemma!  
  
"Nooooooooooooo......I don't want to fight though.... I'm hungry... I need to eat first........ SSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUBBBBBBBBBB!!!!! RAAAAMMMMEEEENNNNNNN!!!!! FFFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he coughed and gagged again.  
  
And Sasuke's eyes blazed with annoyance, anger, hatred, and all else.  
  
"I don't want to die yet either!!"  
  
Sasuke's Chidori continued to grow. And Naruto finally realized he was going to die. He saw the way Sasuke's eyes were and how his Chidori was almost completed.  
  
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I DON'T WANNA DIE!!!!! I'M TOO YOUNG!!!!" Naruto ran out of the Sub Shop, forgetting about everything except getting away. Sasuke sprang after him with his Chidori arm outstretched in pursuit. His arm hit the floor and walls of the little restaurant and the building began to collapse. Everyone inside screamed and ran out. Sasuke got outside the building and searched for Naruto with his red eyes. Where was he? Then he saw an orange blur out of the corner of his eye.  
  
"GET OVER HERE YOU!!!!!" Sasuke turned the corner to view an unbelievable scene.  
  
**Naruto was humping a telephone pole!!**  
  
"NOOOO!!! I CAN'T DIE A VIRGIN!! I ALWAYS TOLD MYSELF I WOULD DO IT BEFORE I DIED AND HAVE CHILDREN!!!" he screeched.  
  
Sasuke watched him for a while and then smirked. "So you want little _blonde dumb ass telephone poles_ to be your kids?"  
  
Naruto moved to the other side of the pole so he could continue his activity and watch Sasuke at the same time. He glared at Sasuke. Oh, how he hated him!! Everyone thought Sasuke was the greatest and coolest and whatnot! Naruto could see that even he was better than him!! But _noooooooooooooo......_ everyone liked Sasuke better. Naruto just didn't understand. But then a most unexpected thing happened. Even less expected than Naruto humping the telephone pole.  
  
Sasuke LAUGHED!!! Yes, he LAUGHED.  
  
"EEEE HHHHEEEE HEEEE HEEE HEEE HEEEEEEEEE!!!! WOO HOO HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" Sasuke cackled and let loose the evil Uchiha laugh that no one had ever heard before.  
  
Naruto was struck dumb and his jaw hit the floor fast as he watched Sasuke continue his laughter that was everything but sane.  
  
Sasuke doubled over with laughter and boy, was Naruto freaked out. These things had never happened to Naruto before and suddenly he decided that this telephone he was screwing wasn't exactly a very good match for him.  
  
"Sorry, I gotta go, my lovely wuvly telephone poley. I'll continue with you later. Don't worry, I still love you." He kissed and stroked the pole a few times and made his getaway while Sasuke was still cackling and rolling on the ground, still with the Chidori and his hand. Every time he rolled over, holes were blasted in the street. [Can you imagine that...]  
  
After Sasuke was over his insanity and the sight of Naruto trying hard to do it with a telephone pole, he was back to his normal self. Naruto was better prey than any body else. Sasuke snickered. He was having fun.  
  
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I love to make people suffer... Heh heh heh... Was that even a good chapter? Not a lot of funny stuff in there. Tell me about it... == Nooooo I can't believe it... I'm running out of ideas. T T someone wanna help me out? Heh... Sasuke made some mistakes by saying some stuff that he said. ::smirk:: Who knows how that will be used to his disadvantage? Read the next chapter to find out!!!!!!! I have to think of something.... by the way. There are parts in the story which werem't my ideas. Credit goes to Trisha Suzy and Sherlynn.


	5. Insanity and Randomness

New chappie upp! LaDeeDa... I'm just too evil.  
  
And thanks for all the wonderful reviews!!  
  
x3 Yuki-Chan2 x3 tenshinoreika999 x3 kashisenshey x3 Dark Nemesis 7 x3 PuNkRoCkBuNnY182 x3 TheGreatAnimeFan x3  
  
Disclaimer: Naruto is mine haha just kidding  
  
Further notes: I... have... writer's block..! Enjoy this chapter... OO  
  
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**Insanity**  
  
Naruto kept running. Okay... so the weird side of him had decided to hump a telephone pole. But who cared? No one did and only Sasuke-bastard saw it. It didn't matter to Naruto. Sasuke will forget, he thought to himself – that was the brighter side to this whole affair. But Naruto then came to a dilemma.  
  
Sasuke was out to kill him – that was the bad part. But what was even worse was that he didn't have any damn place to hide. Naruto groaned. _Where could he go that Sasuke wouldn't follow him?_ He wasn't so sure. Then he remembered the hot springs. Perfect. He could transform (or henge) into that sexy oh so hot girl and then... **take a bath**. It seemed so ironic that he would take a bath while a new found murderer was after him. But it was all Naruto could think of.  
  
He arrived at the hot springs and transformed into a girl with a light blue T shirt and Denim shorts.  
  
Ah.... Yes. Sasuke would never find him here. Or would he? Nah... he wouldn't charge into the hot springs area to look for Naruto because there were many nude girls here.  
  
"Heh heh heh... yes, Sasuke isn't as perverted as I – that is, Jiraiya is." Naruto thought.  
  
Naruto entered and paid to go to the women's bath area. Strangely, no one noticed him that day and he had a rather peaceful time for about a minute or so when he suddenly felt a very, very out of place chakra nearby. And he was freaked out.  
  
"HOLY CRAP!! HE CAN'T BE HERE RIGHT NOW!!! HE MIGHT RECOGNIZE ME!!" Naruto worried.  
  
But the chakra was there. And he was the only who felt the chakra too. The other women [by the way, they were nude] were just having fun. Naruto was not a pervert [cough cough cough!!] so he tried not to gaze at the girls around him. Slowly, Naruto got out of the hot springs and wrapped a towel around himself. He moved over to the bushes that lined the springs and walled the women's bath from the outside world. He pulled back the branches... and screamed bloody murder.  
  
-----Scene Change-----  
  
[This scene will have a guy that can't talk properly. I mean, like a drunk I guess. So if you can't tell what he's saying, and you tried to figure it out already, just try, try again! ]  
  
The ANBU guy that we met earlier [let's label him Aladdin since ANBU members are supposed to be nameless so I won't give you his real name just that Aladdin is his name for now even though it's not really his name cause I really don't have a name for him and he's supposed to be anonymous but that's what we'll call him for now even though, like I said, that's not his real name but... you get it right?] had already arrived at the scene of destruction and could do nothing but stare. What happened here? He walked over to a very loud and sobbing old man that was kneeling over near the ruins.  
  
"Excuse me, sir. Could you please tell me what happened here?"  
  
"Please," the old man said. "Call meh Pooh." His voice slurred strangely and he quickly stopped sobbing bitterly.  
  
Aladdin [remember that's not his name, boys and girls] raised an eyebrow. "Pooh?.."  
  
"Yes, Weiner der Damn Pooh the Fool is what they call me round her. Or Dick if that's better for yerr. My full name's be Dick Erector Ejaculator Weiner Pooh."  
  
"Yes, thank you for telling you my name um..."  
  
"Call meh Dick insterd. Act'ly, I reckon that a better name than Wiener, Pooh, Ejaculator, er..."  
  
"YES!!" Aladdin [that's not his real name - it's just a label but...] yelled before the old man could go any further. "I came to ask you what happened here, so please tell me."  
  
"Oh... you din't come here to learn how me got me name? Me'll tell you anywers. When I was just bert a littler cub, me ahem always erected and soon it was ejaculating very frequently away so me momma..."  
  
"OKAY!! Just tell me what happened, please." Aladdin 's [that's not his name and I'm just reminding you, ok?] hair stood up on his neck. This guy was creepier than Orochimaru and his snakes and pale face and snake-like tounge...  
  
"Oh, dang it! I wanted some prsun to lissn to me ole trale. Alright... Me am der owner of Bob's Hop Subweiner – I mean – Submariner Shop and I had justa finished serving a pile o brats their damn ferd. There was some kinda brawl between a couple er boys after dat. A blondie and a really cutey guy, me thinks. After an hour, the really cute – actually really hot – guy got all tickered offer at the blondie (you shoulda had seen the hottie's pretty face. It was jerst soooooooo cute at dat tehme)...."  
  
_"Is this guy gay??????"_ Aladdin [these interruptions will stop soon, seriously, but I'm just saying that that's not his real name] screamed in his head. His hair bristled up again.  
  
"...and then the cutie started this hot lightnin tack and blew the place oooop (eryone got ooot dough, dough I wish der blondie hadn't because he made the hot guy mad sniff) and then the hottie chased the blondie out of the place and up north me thinks so..."  
  
_"Gawd, this guy is just too creepy. I'll ditch him and his incessant ramblings." _So Aladdin [you know what I want to say...] cut in and said quickly, "I have to go catch the guy who made this mess and maybe arrest him. Please tell your story and everything else to my companion over there. [THIS GUY WILL BE LABELED AS ABU] He'll handle your info." He motioned for his friend, Abu, to come over.  
  
"Really?? Oh, alright. BUT DON'T YOU DRARE LAY YOUR HANDS ON THE HOT GUY!! I DON'T WANT TO SEE SOMEONE I HOLD CLOSER TO ME HERT GERT HURT, YOU SEE!"  
  
_"Whoa... this guy.... DAMN FREAKY!!!"_ Aladdin [yes yes yes, okay, okay. I know that you know but I just wanna remind you again.] thought.  
  
"Okay. Thank you for your information." And he jumped off as fast as he could, wanting to forget about the old man's name and stories. Behind him, he could hear the old man telling how he always wanted to be a pirate.  
  
"COME ON!! SING WIDDA MER!! A PIRTAE'S LIFE'S FER MEE!! EE HEEE HEEEE HEEEE HEEE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Aladdin took out a lamp and rubbed it. He wanted Genie to... **WAIT!** Forget it. He's not Aladdin and he doesn't have a genie. ::sweats::  
  
-----Scene Change-----  
  
Sasuke frowned. Where was that Naruto?? He wanted to kill him so much and he had already been all over Konoha searching for his beloved enemy. [Beloved as in Sasuke loved Naruto as prey. Yeah, it's not what you were thinking].  
  
Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows. Where was he??? He had been to Ichiraku, every ramen store in town, every hot dog stand in town, every DcMickey's , every Burger Queen, every Black Castle, every Dairy King, Naruto's house, the Academy, Iruka's house, Kakashi's house, ... EVERYWHERE!! But no one had seen Naruto, which was damn strange.  
  
Sasuke decided to call it quits today. He would find Naruto later and kill him. He smiled happily. He would have his revenge no matter what!! And he headed home.  
  
When he got home, he first took a bath [a bubble bath, actually] in his hot- pink bathroom. The color calmed him down and soon he was back to the cool and collected Sasuke he usually was. You rarely saw him otherwise. After his bath, he went to Qutey and told her about his day as the rabbit munched on lettuce.  
  
"Today was an okay day, Qutey! I'm so sad though cause I couldn't find Naruto to kill him! [he sobbed and begins to cry] and he poisoned me today by humping the telephone pole! OOOOHH!! WHAT WILL I DO?? MY MIND AND EYES AREN'T PURE ANYMORE!! TELL ME WHAT TO DO QUETY!!" Here he listened intently to his rabbit.  
  
But poor Sasuke! He didn't know that rabbits can't talk or make noise! Only before their deaths can they do that. Poor, naïve, sad, little Sasuke.  
  
He listened hard for an hour, but the only sounds he heard were the munchings and crunchings of the rabbit chewing on veggies and the ticking of the clock. _Poor, naïve, sad, little Sasuke..._  
  
-----Scene Change-----  
  
Naruto screamed bloody murder again and fell into the hot spring with his towel. The girl's all turned to him and saw a telescope all aimed at them.  
  
"ACCCKKK!!" Some screamed and ran away, knowing what that telescope meant.  
  
Others not as bright stayed back and came closer [naked] to study the item that they had never seen. They murmured among themselves and looked curiously at the telescope that was pointed at their... ahem  
  
Naruto surfaced the water and screeched. "IT'S A PERVERTED PEEPER!!! RUN FOR IT!!!" But they all just laughed at him and assured him that it was not a peeper. Naruto slid his body under the water to hide. He knew all too well who that was. Suddenly, there was a whirl or air and a flash of light!  
  
"AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!! THAT YOUNG LADY FOUND ME!!" A voice said.  
  
The girls, who had covered their eyes from the light, saw a very tall and white haired old man standing in front of them. They gasped. But none ran. Or tried to cover themselves.  
  
"I AM JIRAIYA!! THE TOAD HERMIT!! ONE OF THE THREE LEGENDARY SHINOBI!!!!!!!"  
  
The girls gasped and some giggled. They began to whisper among themselves and point at Jiraiya and giggle. Jiraiya blushed.  
  
"Please, don't be shy and tell me what you're talking about."  
  
The girls looked at each other for a while and then blurted out, "WE WANT A PIECE OF YOU JIRAIYA-SAN!!!!!"  
  
The next few seconds were a total blur. Jiraiya grabbed them all up into his arms and they all screamed with delight at finding such a strong man. "YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME, EHHH?? WELL, YOU'RE GONNA GET IT!!!!" And he laughed like a madman. As in insane, not pissed off. He turned to Naruto.  
  
"You want a piece of me, too?" He grinned.  
  
Naruto shivered. "No way. You're too old and perverted."  
  
Jiraiya twitched.  
  
"Plus, are you gonna walk around town carrying those girls nude?"  
  
Jiraiya paused, the girls still giggling in his arms. He smiled. And Naruto was not surprised by his answer.  
  
"Damn straight, yo, damn straight. But, you know what? You look awfully familiar..." He tilted his head and studied Naruto's face [his body was underwater].  
  
"Really? I mean... Nope. I just arrived here, as in Konoha, like an hour ago. I came here to wash up..."  
  
"Oh... Okay... But you're an interesting person. We could go on a date some –OW!!"  
  
Naruto launched himself at the pervert and started beating him up, doing his best not to punch the people Jiraiya was holding onto.  
  
"NO FUCKING WAY ERO-SENNIN!! GO ASK TSUNADE FOR THAT!!"  
  
And Naruto stomped out of the Hot Baths.  
  
Jiraiya scratched his head. "Hm... _Ero-sennin_... that name is familiar. Who is the person who always calls me that...?"  
  
But no answer came to the sick minded fool. He gave up trying to become Sherlock Holmes and marched out of the Hot Baths with his feminine crowd.  
  
Let's hope nothing bad happens to that naïve and pure crowd...  
  
After two hours of soaking and lots of quiet thinking [Naruto can actually stay quiet!!], he left the Hot Springs for home. He transformed many times into different people, hoping Sasuke would not notice him [if he was even out searching for him]. And after half an hour, he was home.  
  
Naruto dreaded the next day if Sasuke found him. Maybe he would never leave his house again. That would be playing it safe right? Perhaps. But Naruto thought that Sasuke would come here to find him anyways. And Naruto didn't know how right he was.  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- =--=-  
  
Neh... I didn't quite enjoy that. Only the part about Sasuke. Well, I have inspiration for the next few chapters! So it'll turn out better than this one. Tune in next time!  
  
A Happy Note: I HIT THE OVER 10,000 WORDS MARK!! YAYYYYYY!!!!! 


	6. Phone Calls

Hullo once again!! Another chapter and hopefully a better one.  
  
x3 tenshinoreika999 x3 AnimeGenNaruto x3 greedyxangel x3 TheGreatAnimeFan x3  
  
tenshinoreika999: I know the other chapter was scary... but I wanted to do something strange for a change... hopefully I didn't scare anyone away... OO and I have no idea how many chapters I will have...  
  
AnimeGenNaruto: **YAY **NEW REVIEWER! Thank you!  
  
Greedyxangel: Now, why would this story be rated R?... ::innocent look::  
  
ENJOY THE CHAPTER!! I like this one better...  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- =-=-  
  
Phone Calls  
  
After yesterday's tiresome disaster at Bob's Hop Submarine Shop, everyone slept peacefully in their beds, glad for the silent and comfortable atmosphere in each of their rooms. Even Aladdin and Abu did [that's not their real names]. Aladdin had given up looking from the "hottie" that had destroyed the Sub Shop. There were so many of those people. But morning came and interrupted their rest. And the only event remembered was what had happened the previous day. Sadly, everyone forgot that today, on this wonderful and bright morning, was Ino's birthday and party. Ino called up everybody bright and early at nine to remind them of it.  
  
First, she called the girls.  
  
"HEYYY!!! SAKURA!!!!"  
  
"Hey..."  
  
"The party is today!!"  
  
"I know, Ino-pig-chan."  
  
"WHAT??? OOOPS! I mean......"  
  
"You heard me," Sakura said all too calmly.  
  
As you can see from this text, Sakura is definitely not a morning person. In the morning, she is rendered a zombie and moans and groans like one. Even her mother and father stay away from her in the morning. Believe me, they know how Sakura can get in the morning if you tamper with her temper. (Tamper, Temper... GET IT? ........ oh.... Eh heh... -.-;;) Luckily, Ino knew this as well. They hadn't been best friends for nothing.  
  
"I mean, come to my house at eleven today! We'll have fun."  
  
"Mmm Hmm.."  
  
They said their goodbyes and Ino hung up quickly, sweating profusely.  
  
"Whoa... WHOA!! That was too damn close to pissing her off. _TOO_ CLOSE!!"  
  
Ino shuddered. She took some deep breaths and calmed herself. Then, she dialed Hinata.  
  
"Hello? Hyuuga Main House Residence."  
  
"HI-NA-TA! It's Ino!"  
  
"Oh..! Hello, Ino-chan..."  
  
"Today's my party!! I just called to remind you!"  
  
"Okay. I'll be there."  
  
They said their goodbyes and hung up. Hinata wasn't much of a conversationalist. Ino knew that and didn't push her to talk to her more. She called up Tenten next.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hi! This is Ymanaka Ino! You got my invitation to my party right?"  
  
"Yeah! At eleven at your house, right?"  
  
"Yup! Don't be late!"  
  
Ino didn't quite know Tenten that well, so she didn't say much to her either. They said their goodbyes politely and hung up.  
  
The girls were all for the party. That was good. They hadn't forgotten about the event and they were all getting ready, already.  
  
The guys, however, were a different story.  
  
She called Sasuke first, being the Sasuke-obsessor in the first place.  
  
"Hn," a grumpy voice answered.  
  
"SASUKE-KUN!!!!!!!!"  
  
Sasuke held the phone away from him at arm's length.  
  
"TODAY'S MY PARTY!!!!!!!!! COME AT ELEVEN!!!!!!!!!!! DID YOU FORGET?????????? DID YOU GET ME A PRESENT???????"  
  
Ino's party... Sasuke had forgotten about. Should he even go? Hm... Decisions, DECISIONS!!  
  
"_Sakura will definitely go because everyone else is going. Which means everyone will be there... including Naruto... and if I go, I CAN HAVE ANOTHER CHANCE AT HUMILIATING HIM! And I can also expose that he was... screwing a telephone pole!!"_ Sasuke thought for a while. Then he smiled.  
  
"Yeah, I'm going." He answered Ino.  
  
"YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Sasuke again held the phone at arm's length and rolled his eyes. Geez... when will she stop yelling.  
  
"YOU DON'T HAVE TO BUY ME ANYTHING!!!!!! I JUST WANT YOU TO BE THERE!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU SASUKE- KUN!!!!!!!!!!!! SEE YOU AT ELEVEN!!!!!!!!!! I-"  
  
Ino finally realized that the dial tone was on... and that Sasuke had hung up on her. She sighed.  
  
"At least he's coming..." but she allowed one tear to slide down her cheek.  
  
Next, she called Shikamaru. His dad answered and said that he was still sleeping.  
  
"WHAT?????????"  
  
It was **nine** and he was still sleeping?? So she had to call back later.  
  
She called Chouji afterwards. He was eating breakfast at that time and he asked if Shikamaru was going. Ino could hear the chaos in his house. She proceeded to scream over them. Ino knew Shikamaru would try not to come, but she wanted everyone there, to show her parents how popular she was.  
  
"YES."  
  
So Chouji was coming.  
  
Yet, that did not stop the chaos at Chouji's house.  
  
"GIVE ME CHICKEN!!"  
  
"OKAY!!"  
  
"NO!!!! THE WHOLE THING!!!"  
  
"THEN GIVE ME THE PIG YOU'RE HOARDING!!!!!!!!"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! I CALLED IT FIRST!!!!!!!"  
  
"WELL I CALLED THIS CHICKEN!!!!!!!!"  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Yes, dear?"  
  
"MILK!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Okay, dear. Here you go."  
  
"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! THE WHOLE GALLON!!!!!!!!"  
  
"MOMMY!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"DADDY WON'T GIVE ME THE KOREAN BBQ!!!!!!!"  
  
Chouji's ears twitched and he spontaneously yelled, "DID I HEAR SOMEONE SAY KOREAN BBQ??????????? INO!!!"  
  
"Yeah...?"  
  
"HOLD ON PLEASE!!!!!!"  
  
And he was gone.  
  
Ino heard even more chaotic things happen in there. Crashes, bangs, bonks, and other sounds were heard.  
  
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! CHOUJI NII-SAN TOUCHED MY BUTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Ino sweatdropped.  
  
"I DID NOT!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"YEAH, YOU PERVERTED FAT BOY!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"I DID NOT!!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS REACHING OVER YOU WHILE YOU WERE LYING DOWN AND THEN YOU STARTED TO HUMP THE TURKEY AND YOUR BUTT CAME UP AND HIT MY HAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
It could be easily understood that Chouji had snapped.  
  
More and more crashes were heard, and it was obvious that Chouji had started using his roll-up-and-spin attacks on his sister. A war had started in the Fatties' household. Ino stood there listening, dumbfounded, and then the line went dead. Apparently, the phone had been smashed to bits by the Rolly-Polly Family.  
  
Then she made Kiba's phone ring. He had forgotten about the party. Ino again let a tear slide down her cheek.  
  
"BUT I'LL BE THERE!!!!!! IT'S PARTAAAYY TIME AKAMARU!!!"  
  
Ino heard barks in the background.  
  
"NO NO NO!!!!!!!!! NOT YOU KUROMARU!!! ONLY AKAMARU!!!"  
  
More barks.  
  
"WHAT??????? I'M LETTING ONLY AKAMARU GO BECAUSE HE'S MY DOG!!!"  
  
More Barks were heard.  
  
"WHAT????????? I DON'T LIKE AKAMARU'S ASS!!!!!"  
  
Barks again.  
  
"AKAMARU IS MY DOG. THAT'S WHY HE'S GOING. NOT BECAUSE HE HAS A HOT ASS OR DICK..."  
  
And Ino hung up.  
  
Only Naruto, Neji, Shino, and Rock Lee were left. She dialed Naruto's number. Although Ino didn't want to talk to Naruto **[A CROSS-DRESSER!!], **she still wanted everyone there. Remember, Ino likes to be popular.  
  
The phone rang a few times. Then it was finally picked up.  
  
"Hm?"  
  
Ino told Naruto about the party and how everyone was going. She rambled and rambled but Naruto finally cut her off by ...  
  
"SNOOOORRREEE!!"  
  
Ino got so angry she screamed into the phone until Naruto's eardrum shattered. Afterwards, Naruto quietly listened to her with no arguments.  
  
All in all, Naruto was going to the party. Now, the question was, _what will he wear??_  
  
The thought made Ino sick. But she had to finish calling people.  
  
She called Shino next.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Hello. This is Ino. You got my invitation for my party right?"  
  
"Yes, Kiba found it and thought it was junkmail. He stomped on it then pissed on it, I think. But my bugs fixed it up for me. It was still readable."  
  
Ino twitched. Kiba...............  
  
"Anyways! Come over my house at eleven!"  
  
"Okay."  
  
Silence...  
  
Ino heard footsteps on the other line.  
  
"Hey, dad," Shino said.  
  
"Hm."  
  
More footsteps then...  
  
"AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!! SHINO!!!!!! I CAN'T HIDE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!! I CONFESS TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING I DID!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"....What did you do....?"  
  
"I STEPPED ON ONE OF YOUR BUGS!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Silence... and a gasp was heard.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! WHICH ONE???????? BOB, JOE, FRED, FATTY, PAT, CHIBI, BABY, LUCKY, SUNNY,..."  
  
One of Ino's eyebrows went up.  
  
Five minutes later...  
  
"...ORVILLE, LEENA, BARNEY, LALA, PO, DIPSY, DUMMY, SMARTY,..."  
  
The other eyebrow of Ino went up.  
  
Another five minutes later...  
  
"...CRAZY, BUTCH, BIGGY, SMALLY, LITTLEY, ZIPPY, ZAPPY, BIG MAN, LINK, KIRBY,..."  
  
Ino's eyebrows went up even further.  
  
Yet another five minutes later.  
  
"...SPECIAL, ROBBY, DREAMY, DICK, LAURA, ROCKY, MAGGIE, OR GOOBY????????????"  
  
"I DON'T KNOW!! COME LOOK AT THE BODY!! MAYBE YOU CAN IDENTIFY IT!!! IT WAS YOUR BUG..."  
  
"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! IT DIED!!!!!!!!!! IT REALLY DIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Ino's eyebrows twitched.  
  
"INO!!!!!!! I HAVE TO GO!!!!!!!1 MY DAD MURDERED A BUG!!!!!! I'LL BE AT YOUR PARTY!!!!!!!! BUT I'LL BE LATE!!!!!!!! I HAVE TO HAVE A FUNERAL FOR THE DEAD ONE!!!!!!" Shino began to bawl. "MY POOR LITTLE BUGGY WUGGIES!!!!!!!"  
  
And that was the end of that.  
  
Ino rung up Rock Lee after Shino before Neji. She thought Neji was plain old... weird... and Lee was weirder, but that was beside the point.  
  
"YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS?????? YOU ARE NOW TALKING TO KONOHA'S YOUNG AND FULL OF ENERGY PROUD GREENBEAST......."  
  
"Hi, Thickbrows. This is Ino."  
  
Silence.  
  
"I invited you to my birthday party already right?"  
  
Silence again...  
  
Now, Ino was a very impatient person. And because of that, she tended to get out of control. But what was even worse, was that when she tried to talk to someone and got no response for a long time, her reactions were frightening. Crazy, actually. And when she is ignored by people...let's just say the Evil Witch from the Wizard of Oz can not even compare.  
  
Ino gritted her teeth to stop her bad side from showing up and was about to calmly ask if Lee was even there when sobs were heard.  
  
"YOU CALLED ME THICKBROWS!!! NOOOOO!!!!! IF OTHER PEOPLE THINK THAT, THAN SAKURA-SAN WILL TOO!! ::sob:: ::sob::"  
  
"I mean... er... Lee!" Ino sweatdropped.  
  
"No No NO!!!!! SAKURAAAAAAAA!!! ::sob::"  
  
Ino was now very ticked off. These. IDIOTS. Were wasting her time!!  
  
"LEE LISTEN TO ME OR I WILL MAKE SURE SAKURA FALLS IN LOVE WITH... WITH.." Ino's mind searched for someone Sakura didn't like and was Lee's rival. "NEJI! I'LL MAKE HER FALL FOR NEJI SO BAD THAT NOT EVEN SASUKE HAS A CHANCE, MUCH LESS YOU!"  
  
"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! NOT MY RIVAL!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! I'LL LISTEN, I'LL LISTEN!" he continued to sob.  
  
"And stop crying, too."  
  
She was met with silence yet again. Then, she heard Lee clear his throat.  
  
"Yes, Ino? What do you need to say?" Lee tried very hard to stop his cries of desperation and heartbroken-ness.  
  
Yet, Ino was nice enough to invite him to the party.  
  
"PAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
This time, it was Ino who held the phone at arm's length and rolled her eyes.  
  
"YESS SIRREE!! I'M GOING!! SAKURA WILL BE THERE!!! I MUST PROVE MYSELF TO HER!!!!!!"  
  
"Okay... Lee...?"  
  
But Lee was still whooping and yelling happily on the other end.  
  
"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Lee...??"  
  
"WWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOO HHHHHHHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Lee."  
  
"O YEAH!!!!!!!!! PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!"  
  
"Lee!"  
  
"ITS PARTAY TIMEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"  
  
"LLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Yet Lee did not stop his useless and unnecessary cheering. But, then again, it was the first and foremost time that anyone had invited him to a party!!!!!! THREE CHEERS FOR THE GREAT LEE, EVERYONE!!!  
  
Five minutes passed, and Lee finally realized that Ino was not there any more. The only sounds heard for the few quiet moments in Lee's home then and there were the clocks ticking away and the dial tone.  
  
Of course Ino hung up the phone on Lee!! That was the only option when a loud voice was blaring through her phone, causing wine glasses in the kitchen nearby to shatter. The poor kid was so happy when he found out he was invited to a party, and then, he finally realized terrible Ino had hung up on him. The poor kid... he stood there with tears running down his cheeks and whining for Gai-sensei's wonderful... comfort...  
  
While this was happening at Lee's house, Ino was talking to Neji.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Hi. It's Ino."  
  
"Oh. Why are you calling me?"  
  
Neji was so different from Hinata. Too bad he wasn't as nice as her. But Ino decided not to hang up on him. She told him about the party.  
  
"Is Tenten going?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
That was good for Neji. Tenten was a better friend to him than anyone else. Probably because she was the one who trained most with him. Thickbrows and Gai-sensei didn't count. They were too unique for him. Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Ino, Shino, Kiba, and the rest of the Rookie Nine did't count either. They weren't good enough for him. Ohhhhhhhhhh, nooooooooo. Compared to Neji, they were ants next to a... a... TURKEY! Yes, a turkey. So, Neji was the turkey, and they were the ants. But what was Tenten? Ahhhhhhh, yes. She was the chicken. She was the lovely- LOVELY??????  
  
Neji brushed the thoughts out of his mind. No. No one was good enough to be Neji's friend. They were just... acquaintances. Tenten was just a better companion than them all.  
  
"The Uchiha?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
There was a pause.  
  
"Hinata?"  
  
Ino stopped. She couldn't lie, but what could she say? She knew Neji hated Hinata but...  
  
"Y-Yes..."  
  
And Neji launched into his **ten hour** (yup, he lengthened it a bit) rant about the Main and Branch House.  
  
"A MAIN HOUSE MEMBER IS GOING???"  
  
"Y-Yeah..."  
  
"DO YOU KNOW WHY THERE ARE TWO BRANCHES IN THE HYUUGA HOUSEHOLD?"  
  
Ino was speechless.  
  
"BECAUSE THE MAIN HOUSE MEMBERS ARE COWARDLY AND THEY CAN'T PROTECT THEMSELVES!! THEY KILLED MY FATHER AND YOU'RE EXPECTING ME TO GO TO A PARTY WHERE A MEMBER OF THE BRANCH I HATE IS GOING TO HAVE A GOOD TIME IN???? YOU'RE EXPECTING ME TO HAVE A GOOD TIME????? YOU'RE..."  
  
And he went on and on and on.  
  
"SHUT UP FOR A MINUTE YOU BLANK EYED HYUUGA!!!!!!!"  
  
"WHAT THE %&# DID YOU JUST CALL ME??????"  
  
Now, Neji never lost his cool in any circumstance. So, you can imagine that Ino had never heard that he would ever lose his cool and she was surprised. Taken aback, as well. But this was a conversation over the phone, so she could insult him in any way she liked. She could run from him later. Meet Ino the Cowardly.  
  
"BLANK EYED HEARTLESS WEIRD HYUUGA!!" Ino spat venom. Literally. And the poison melted part of a wall and caused a fire and ... [NO... I meant figuratively. Eh heh... Got a bit carried away...]  
  
Neji could not believe who was talking to him. A stupid mindless I-wanna- take-over-your-body-to-do-what-I-want-you-to-do idiot!! These people were cowardly and couldn't fight their own battles!! Heck, they used other people to fight for them!!!!!!! And he, a Hyuuga, used hand-to-hand combat!! With his own body!! He got hurt himself! While these people used others bodies and never got a scratch!!! How dare she talk like that to him!!  
  
Ino went on.  
  
"JUST TELL ME IF YOU'RE GOING TO COME TO MY PARTY AT MY HOUSE AT ELEVEN!!"  
  
Neji thought. Hinata would be there. He didn't like that one bit. Also, that Naruto that beat him up in the Chuunin exam was going to be there. So was this annoying Ino and her friend Sakura. And Lee. That very annoying Lee on his team!! And Sasuke... Neji had really nothing against him... but Tenten, Tenten the Wonderful was going to be there. Tenten the Great. Tenten the Strong. Tenten the Weapon Specialist. Tenten the Interesting. Tenten the Lovely... NO!! Neji would never let these thoughts take control of him. NEVER!! And yet.......  
  
"Sure, I'll go."  
  
And yet... _that _**hated** _answer came out of his mouth._  
  
Ino was already calling up the last person. Your reaction must be like... WHAT?? SHE CALLED EVERYONE ALREADY!!  
  
Let's see... she called Sakura, Hinata, Tenten, Sasuke, Naruto, Neij, Chouji, Lee, Kiba, Shino, Shikamaru... that makes eleven. The number of people she was inviting in the first place. Who was left? Ahhh... but, my friend, you overlooked something.  
  
"SHIKAMARU WAS ASLEEP WHEN I CALLED HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN THAT FREAK!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Ino told you the reason already. What a loud mouth.  
  
So she called Shikamaru again.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"This is Ino again. Is Shikamaru up?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
It was such a short answer, yet it held such big meaning to it!! Was it even possible?  
  
"Then. WAKE. HIM. UP!!"  
  
Shikamaru's dad, Shikato, was too tired to deal with crazy girls in the morning. Especially when they were bossy.  
  
"Okay! Okay! I will wake him up! How troublesome..."  
  
It took at least five minutes to wake the lazy bum up. And when he finally got up, he fell asleep walking in the hallways. So Shikato, the poor father, had to carry him over to the phone so he would not have to wake him up multiple times in the hallways over and over again. Shikato set his son in a chair and woke him up by pounding on his head ten times. Shikamaru finally woke up, with a huge bump on his head. He began to talk to Ino after much commotion to pick up the phone (Shikamaru thought it was too troublesome to pick a phone up).  
  
As Shikato walked back to his bedroom through the halls of his house, he fell asleep. Hey, what can I say? _Like father like son? Or like son like father?........_  
  
Back to the lazy bum junior.  
  
"Heyyy..." Shikamaru's voice slurred. He was so tired.  
  
"SHIKAMARU!!!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU DRUNK!!!!!!!!!?????????????"  
  
Funny, he thought it was too troublesome to pick up a phone, but not too troublesome to put the phone at arm's length and roll his eyes.  
  
"No I'm not. Just tired."  
  
"Oh... okay... but you sound like you're drunk..."  
  
"Why did you call me?"  
  
"OH YEAH! MY BDAY IS TODAY AND SO IS THE PARTY!"  
  
"I'm not going."  
  
"WHAT??????? YOU HAVE TO!!!!!!"  
  
"No. I want to sleep."  
  
"SHIKAMARU! IF YOU DON'T COME I'LL KILL YOU."  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"I WILL!!"  
  
"Bye Ino." He was about to put the phone down when...  
  
"WAAAIIITTTT!!!!!!"  
  
Shikamaru may be lazy, but he's not cruel.  
  
"What."  
  
"I'll play shougi or go with you!"  
  
"No."  
  
"TWO GAMES!!!!!!"  
  
"No. You're not any good."  
  
Ino pouted.  
  
"So?"  
  
Shikamaru smiled. Ino was funny when she pouted... maybe even... cute? Nah. But half of him thought so. Yes, the other half didn't think so. Shikamaru sighed. It was all too troublesome to think about. He wanted to go back to sleep. But he couldn't unless he got Ino off his back. Either he A) hung up on him, B) pulled the phone's wire out, or C) agree to go to the party. Choices A and B were out. He wasn't a meanie. So he had to go. But that would mean more troublesome things. He could go there and sleep on the couch. But that would make Ino mad.  
  
_'But Ino is cute when she's mad!'_ The weird part of him said. And that's when he decided.  
  
"Whatever. I'll go. And you won't owe me anything since it's your B-day."  
  
"YYYYYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! GO SHIKA SHIKA! GO SHIKA SHIKA!"  
  
Again, Shikamaru held the phone at arm's length. Ino's voice was so loud.  
  
"Okay. I'm going back to bed."  
  
"OKAY! SHIKAMARUUUU!! I LO- ERRR... - LOVE YOU AS A TEMMATE!!!!!!! BYE BYE!!!!!!!!"  
  
And that was that.  
  
Ino put down the phone. She was done!!! YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!  
  
"Ahhhhhh......... now, I just have to wake up mom and dad and get the preparations started!!!!" Ino would make sure everyone had fun. Even Sakura the Wide-Foreheaded. Even Neji the Cold. Even Sasuke her Beloved. Yes. Everyone.  
  
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Wow... that was....... really really long...... Mostly dialogue.... Did you like it? Eh heh... review please. OR I SHALL END THIS STORY RIGHT HERE!! Just kidding Love you people lots! BUH-BYE!!!!!!! 


	7. Failure

New chapter again. Thank you for the reviews!!

x3 Dark Nemesis 7 x3 Darkfire22 x3 kashisenshey x3 TheGreatAnimeFan x3 PuNkRoCkBuNnY182 x3

Darkfire22: I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!! Let's just say...um... I was on your bus and I introduced you to Naruto. Now who do you think I am? LOL

Anyways... Enjoy the chapter!!  
  
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**Failure**  
  
It was eleven o'clock. Ino was getting impatient. _WHERE WAS EVERYONE??_ But she didn't need to complain. For strolling down the lane was... **WAS!...**  
  
Sakura, Hinata, and Tenten. They all had presents for Ino. Ino grumbled a bit. She wanted Sasuke to be first.  
  
After the girls were Naruto, Rock Lee, and Kiba, the hyperactive ones. They also had presents, although they were smaller. They danced around shouting things like, "IT'S PARTY TIMMMEEE!!!!!!!!"  
  
As they neared Ino, she suddenly gasped. Lee and Kiba were dressed normally but... Naruto. NARUTO! He was wearing a pink shirt!! And it had a huge flower on it... and it was from ABERCROMBIE!! The hell??  
  
As soon as they reached Ino's house, they saw that Ino's left eyebrow was twitching violently.  
  
"What?" Kiba asked.  
  
"Yeah, what?" Lee and Naruto asked.  
  
"Naruto.... Your shirt....."  
  
He looked down and finally remembered what he was wearing.  
  
"Oh, this. This is my favorite shirt!! I wear it all the time!!"  
  
"But... not in public right?" Ino's eyebrow was still twitching madly.  
  
"Is there something wrong with it?" Naruto questioned stupidly.  
  
"OF COURSE, DAMMIT!!!! YOU'RE A GUY WEARING A GIRL'S SHIRT!!"  
  
"Sooooo??????"  
  
Three curious girls glanced around Ino to see what was happening.  
  
Sakura gasped and raised her arms, as if to protect herself.  
  
Tenten gasped and ran back into the house.  
  
And Hinata... poor Hinata. Her beloved was a weirdo _[REMEMBER THAT SHE DOES NOT KNOW THAT HE IS A CROWW DRESSER! SHE WASN'T WITH THE GROUP THAT DAY WHEN NARUTO'S SECRET WAS REVEALED.]_  
  
Hinata was so surprised... and sad. Her father would DEFINITELY not allow her to marry Naruto if he saw him now. Yet, she still smiled at him.  
  
"Th-that's a.. a ni-nice sh... shirt... I mean..." she ran back into the house crying. Poor girl.  
  
"YOU MADE HER CRY!!!!!! I DO NOT ALLOW YOU INTO MY HOUSE NOW!!!!"  
  
"WHAT???? I'LL DO ANYTHING! LET ME IN!!!!!!!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"PLEASE!!!!!!!! I'LL... TAKE OFF MY SHIRT!!!!! YOU DON'T LIKE IT RIGHT????"  
  
Ino twitched. Then she grabbed the closest thing to her, an umbrella, and whacked Naruto to kingdom come. She would not have a half naked guy in her house. Nooooooooo way. Then she picked up Naruto and tossed him into the living room, where Lee and Kiba examined him, whispering quietly and leaning over him.  
  
Then Sasuke came. He didn't have a present for Ino because he didn't care and she said that only his presence would be necessary.  
  
Then Neji came. He had an envelope for Ino as his present to her.  
  
Then three people appeared in the horizon. It was...  
  
GAARA, TEMARI, AND KANKURO!!!!!  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU THREE DOING HERE?? I DIDN'T INVITE YOU!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Naruto told us of the party. We wanted to come too," Gaara said flatly.  
  
"WHAT???"  
  
"Are you saying you are going against me?" Gaara asked.  
  
Ino was scared. She knew of Gaara's power. And she did not want anyone to be killed at her party.  
  
"N-n-no... c-come r-r-ri-right i-in..."  
  
So now she had three uninvited people. That was okay. At least, Ino hoped it would be.  
  
Everyone hung around in Ino's living room, waiting for Shino, Shikamaru, and Chouji. Twenty minutes passed and everyone became impatient. So Ino's party started then.  
  
Ino already had all the food out in the dining room. The X Box, Playstation, DDR, and all her other games were in the living room. Kiba, Naruto, Lee, Tenten, Sasuke, Sakura, and Ino were all playing games like Super Smash Brothers when Shino, Shikamaru, and Chouji arrived. They were an hour late. Their reasons for their tardiness were simple explanations.  
  
"I was asleep."  
  
"I wanted to come with Shikamaru."  
  
"I needed to attend a funeral for my friend."  
  
Shino's explanation stirred things up a bit.  
  
"I'm so sorry Shino!!"  
  
"Who died??"  
  
"I'll mourn with you."  
  
"Were you two close?"  
  
And etc. etc. But Shino chose to remain silent. No one cared about bugs anymore. Only the Aburame clan did. _::sniff::  
_  
-----An hour later-----  
  
So far, Ino's party was a blast. Chouji had kept himself from eating all the food and everyone was having fun. Ino was a very, very happy girl. But there was one problem. They had played every "fun" game that Ino had on her X box, Playstation and etc. And now the games were becoming boring. Everyone started to complain.  
  
"Super Smash Bros again??????"  
  
"UGH!! I'm sick of that game."  
  
"Same here. Ino, don't you have other games?"  
  
"Well,......... yeah....... But...... they're not fun."  
  
"SO WHAT?? BRING THEM OUT!!!" the majority yelled.  
  
Ino sweatdropped and took out her last game. Mario Tennis.  
  
"MARIO TENNIS????????? THAT'S A GAY GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"I KNOW RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"SO INSTEAD OF DOING THAT, LET'S SING A SONG!!!!!!!!!" Naruto yelled.  
  
Instinctively, Sasuke covered his ears. He knew what was coming, unlike the others.  
  
"LET'S SING...... um... what will we sing?...................... I KNOW!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Naruto opened his mouth and sucked in air to begin his song. But just as he was about to let it all out, Sakura grabbed him, clapped a hand over his mouth, then punched him.  
  
"IDIOT!!!!!!!! THIS IS A PARTY!!!!!!!! NOT A CHOIR CLASS!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"But...." Naruto weakly replied.  
  
"BRING THE MARIO TENNIS OUT!!!!!!!"  
  
"But it's so stupid. And pointless. And not interesting," Kiba retorted.  
  
"So what? I'm tired of all the other games. Let's play this one. It'll be fun!!" Tenten stated.  
  
Everyone was hesitant to play the outdated game, but they all decided to try it.  
  
So, it was decided that they were going to play one-on-one matches instead of two-on-two. Surprisingly, SASUKE AND NARUTO WERE TO PLAY AGAINST EACH OTHER!!!!! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!  
  
Sasuke smirked. It was the perfect chance to beat the **shit** out of Naruto. They began to choose the characters they would be for the match. However, Sasuke was eating pink strawberry ice cream at the time, so Lee was helping Sasuke choose. In short, Sasuke ate ice cream while Lee did all the thumb and finger work that was needed to chose the character for Sasuke.  
  
"What do you want to be Sasuke?"  
  
Sasuke watched as Lee went through the characters one by one.  
  
_"Hmmmm.... I could be Luigi. Or Mario... or..."_  
  
Then Lee came across the character Sasuke wanted with all his heart, soul, mind, and body.  
  
"No... that's a bad one to be.... go to the next ones," Tenten said.  
  
Lee continued going through the characters.  
  
"Stop it."  
  
"What did you say, Sasuke?"  
  
"STOP IT. I want to be that character!!!"  
  
"You mean.... This?" Lee went back to the character that Tenten had labeled as "a bad one".  
  
"Yes."  
  
Everybody's eyebrows went up. Even **Gaara** who_ **had**_ no eyebrows.  
  
"What....?" They asked.  
  
"THIS IS A TERRIBLE ONE!!!!!!!! IT'S WEAK AND IT LOOKS STUPID AND...." Temari was cut off.  
  
Sasuke had already grabbed the remote and chosen his "person" that would play tennis.  
  
The game began.  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING SASUKE??????? WHY THAT ONE???????"  
  
The character he had chosen was.... was........  
  
.........................**_BIRDO_**............  
  
**Birdo,** the _hot pink duck-like animal_ that was weak and stupid. I mean, even Peach was better than Birdo!  
  
"WHY BIRDO!!!!!???????" Naruto yelled. "I DON'T WANNA GO UP AGAINST A WEAKLING!!!!!!!"  
  
"Shut up. You were the one that chose Peach."  
  
Everyone looked at the screen. NARUTO _**DID**_ CHOOSE PEACH!!!!!! Everyone then started to rant and scold Naruto for picking Peach the Princess.  
  
Sasuke saw his perfect chance to humiliate him.  
  
"Why did you choose Peach? You wanna be a girl?"  
  
"NO!... I chose her because...because... I JUST **CHOSE** HER ALRIGHT??"  
  
Sasuke smirked.  
  
"Baka..."  
  
"WHO'S THE BAKA?? YOU CHOSE BIRDO!"  
  
Naruto pointed defiantly at the screen.  
  
Now, why did the guys choose the characters they chose? Of course, Sasuke chose Birdo for her color, hot pink. The same color as his _diary, toothbrush, pencils, pens, bathroom, towel, bed sheets, pillows, calculator, alarm clock, playing cards, and blah blah blah_.  
  
But why did Naruto choose Peach? The answer was that he wanted to be like her. Her** _pretty_**_ dresses, skirts, shirts, shoes, socks, earrings, jewelry, bags, and blah blah blah_ were what Naruto wanted badly. He wanted to be a princess. He wished for it so badly, he would even be the Mario whatever character he idolized and was so jealous about. He was that desperate. He wanted his "Prince Charming" to come one day and light up his word. He wished and wanted... but he was what? **_A GUY_**! Why couldn't he be born into royalty and as a princess? Naruto hated fate. It decided those things. He was almost like Neji, in a way.  
  
"One day my _prince_ will come...." Naruto hummed silently to himself as the game heated up (if a Mario Tennis game can actually heat up...).  
  
He also idolized who else, but Snow White, Cinderella, and all the other make-believe princesses that waited patiently for the love of their life to come. "How much patience do they have?" Naruto always wondered.  
  
But back to the story.  
  
Sasuke (Birdo) and Naruto (Peach) played one-on-one. It was a rather interesting game. Naruto's hits were fast and had orange or blue streaks trailing behind while, on the other hand, Sasuke was... let's just say, he wasn't hitting as well. His hits had **no** power whatsoever and had no streaks trailing behind. Peach (Naruto) was in the lead because she (he) made Birdo (Sasuke) dive for the ball a lot. But Birdo was one of those poorly made or created characters that were just weird. Birdo tumbled a lot more than other characters when diving for the ball and that, could be a problem. Consequently, poor Sasuke who had never played Mario Tennis in his life, was basically,_ LOSING_.  
  
Sasuke didn't even know how to serve! He just pressed random buttons on his remote and let the ball go anywhere. Luckily, everyone was staring at the screen, and not him, or they would have seen him frowning, making his fingers go mad, and forming curses with his mouth. Sasuke was very, very bad at Mario Tennis, the most easiest and boring and gay and stupid game to ever be created. Sasuke was very, very pissed off.  
  
There were a lot of deuces and most of them happened because Sasuke did something plain old weird. Sasuke was starting to hate himself for not buying Nintendo games such as these. He had always made himself believe he was so much better than all of the people who played games such as these and yet, he was losing to Naruto!!! He cursed whenever Birdo tumbled or didn't get the ball. He cursed himself for not playing these games to gain skills because he had no skill in Mario Tennis at all. He never even knew there was such a game. He had thought they were all too low down for him.  
  
Again and again, Birdo (Sasuke) messed up hard. The game seemed nice enough to even make those deuces. Naruto's power hits were the worst for Sasuke. They were faster than his own, and they were harder to hit (for Sasuke I mean). He tumbled too many a time, diving for the tennis ball. And the game lasted forever.  
  
An hour later, they were still playing. Everyone had already stopped watching and cheering and booing and had gone to eating, chatting, and playing other games (mainly board games). Shikamaru was sleeping on the couch while Ino was trying to wake him up. The other girls were playing Sorry. Lee, Kiba, and Kankuro were playing Monopoly. Gaara was watching Lee, Kiba, and Kankuro play. Neji was watching Tenten out of the corner of his eye while pretending to be interested in the Monopoly game. Shino was watching a spider. Chouji was sitting next to Shikamaru, munching on his own food, happily. They were all having fun. Sauske was not.  
  
Finally, after ten more minutes, the game ended.  
  
"YAYYY!! That was fun!" Naruto commented.  
  
Sasuke's eyebrows were twitching dangerously. He had...  
  
...........**_lost to Naruto_**......  
  
Sasuke was very, _very_ angry at himself. He sucked at Mario Tennis. He had lost to _that_ Naruto. He had proven that Naruto was better than him when it came to video games. He had **lost** to Naruto. He didn't get his revenge on Naruto. He had **lost **to him. **HIM.** The most obnoxious, loud, and stupid ninja there ever was. And he hated himself. He really did. But what could he do? He had** lost** to that. **THAT** UZUMAKI NARUTO!!!!!!  
  
"ARGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sasuke yelled.  
  
Everyone looked over to him.  
  
"THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!! NARUTO, WE'RE TAKING THIS _OUTSIDE_!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Everyone twitched. Sasuke was losing his cool.  
  
"Nope."  
  
"WHAT DID YOU SAY NARUTO?????"  
  
"Nope. You lost to me in Mario Tennis, the most gay, stupid, and pointless game ever made. You're an idiot for losing to me in that game. I never even played it before."  
  
Sasuke was mad. He had never played the game, either! AND HE HAD LOST TO NARUTO!! AND IT WAS _**HIS**_ FIRST TIME PLAYING, TOO!!! Sasuke was very, very depressed. This day was just rotten bad. But what could he do? He couldn't destroy Ino's house like what he had done to the sub shop. So he let his anger seethe in him. He would plan and hit Naruto with all he had.  
  
He was the cat. Naruto was the mouse. But what Sasuke didn't know and think about, was that sometimes, the "stupid mouse" was just the opposite. It could be more clever than the cat in its own ways.  
  
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Whoa! The ending had some sort of moral to it... whoa... I didn't really plan that though... It's kinda like don't underestimate your enemy, right? LOL.

Well that's it for now!! I'm tired. It's too early in the morning. =.=" But, hopefully you enjoyed the chapter! To review or not to review? That is the question. Hmmm... review. =D


	8. Planning Ahead

The eighth chapter!! Heh... Well, anyways... Um.. o yeah! If there are any problems with spelling or grammar then SORRY! I went through my other chapters and found a few error here and there. Like "secong" instead of "second" BLAHHHH... sucks. Even though Word 2003 is really good and I proofread, I still have mistakes. Dammit. And I don't want to re-upload the story...  
  
Make sure you read the other part of this at the end of the chapter (author's note) because I have this voting thing... O.O" Try to answer!  
  
x3 kashisenshey x3 ookami-kun x3 PuNkRoCkBuNnY182 x3 TheGreatAnimeFan x3 Skit-r4ylTBx x3 insert catchy name here x3 Darkfire22 x3 Anime Gen.Naruto x3  
  
WOWWW!!!! EXTRA X3 TO NEW REVIEWERS!! x3 ookami-kun x3 insert catchy name here x3 Skit-r4ylTBx x3 YAY! NEW REVIEWERS!!  
  
insert catchy name here: EMAIL IT TO ME! Heh heh... yeah I wanna see it. Maybe I'll even add Sasuke in that apron in this story! Maybe this chapter!! Hmm.. go to the end for my email ok? I'll put it down there.  
  
ookami-kun: Just telling you I didn't make all this up. IT REALLY HAPPENED!! Just Kiddin'. A lot of the ideas were from or made by my friends. The "pink yogurt" idea was made by me, but my friend named it and furnished the idea up even more. So do not give Credit all to me!! Thanks!!  
  
PuNkRoCkBuNnY182: GAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! SO SORRY!! I THOUGHT NO ONE PLAYED WITH BIRDO!!! Me and my stupid assumptions... let's just keep it at Sasuke playing with Birdo is stupid okay?? Peace!!! ::bows 500 times:: SO SORRY!!!!!!!!  
  
THANKS FOR REVIEWING PEOPLE!!!!  
  
::jumps up and down insanely:: ::stops quickly:: Ahem..  
  
Disclaimer: all names and characters used are not mine. Thank you very much and don't sue me for claiming them as mine. BECAUSE I'M NOT!!  
  
Claimer: STORY IS MINE!! ALL IDEAS STOLEN/USED BY OTHERS WILL BE SERVERELY PUNISHED!!!  
  
Sorry, I feel hyper today =DDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sooo... enjoy the chapter!!!  
  
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**Planning Ahead**  
  
Sasuke woke up early the next morning after the party. He took a shower in his pink bathroom before doing anything else. Afterwards, he brushed his teeth, washed his face with his Hello Kitty towel and headed back to his room. He wasn't that hungry yet, so he decided not to eat.  
  
Yesterday, after his match with Naruto with the Mario Tennis, Sasuke had sat there, sulking, on the sofa with white eyes and eyebrows that twitched at 200 miles per hour. Clearly, he did not have fun at all at the party. Only in the beginning. The memory of Naruto beating him made him very, very angry. And it was forever burned into his memory.  
  
Sasuke sat down at his desk, thinking over yesterday, and opened his Hello Kitty diary. He read what he wrote that day when Naruto had made fun of his precious yogurt.  
  
_The Day When I was Humiliated By Dobe...  
  
I'll get my revenge on Naruto!!!!! You know what he did today???? HE INSULTED MY FAVORITE FOOD!!! My precious pink yogurt!! I hate him!! I feel like crying so badly!!! WHEN DID HE GET PERVERTED ENOUGH TO MAKE UP THAT... THAT... HORRIBLE STORY!!!??? Maybe from that person he calls Ero-sennin. I'LL KILL BOTH OF THEM!!! BOTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ohhhh, yeesss. Revenge. Revenge... HAHAHAHHAHAHA yes, I WILL get back at Naruto. I WILL make Naruto look like a fool! AHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! What I would give to see Naruto humiliated!!!!!! Naruto WILL feel worse than I did today. 100 times worse... MUAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA! Ohhhh, yessss.... Perhaps I will even join Orochimaru to gain enough power to make Naruto look vulnerable and helpless. Yesss... So here are some ideas that I can use to get my revenge... No one insults my favorite yogurt without getting away with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
__1. Find Naruto's weakness and expose it _

_2. Pick a fight with him and make him lose badly _

_3. Make up a perverted story about Naruto's ramen _

_4. Get a picture of Naruto to blackmail him with _

_5. Go to Naruto's house and find something embarrassing to tell everyone about. _

_6. Play a prank on Naruto (eg. Put hair dye in his shampoo)  
  
Those are my ideas!!! But I don't think I will make up a perverted story about Naruto's ramen or play a prank on him. I'm tooo damn high up for those low down tricks. Can't filthify my reputation either!!  
  
What do you think, oh precious Hello Kitty?  
  
Your lover and one and only --Sasuke  
_  
[[ By the way, filthify is not a word. Shows you a new side to Sasuke, doesn't it? LOL!! ]]  
  
There were no more entries after that. Sasuke thought hard about his revenge. He had already found Naruto's weakness (spicy stuff), gotten pictures he could possibly use to blackmail Naruto with (the closet pictures), and gone to Naruto's house and found something embarrassing to tell everyone about (the cross dressing room).  
  
He had tried to challenge Naruto twice, but it hadn't worked out well. And that was the only other thing he had planned for Naruto, aside from the other options he wanted to avoid badly. Yes, he would pick a fight with Naruto and then beat him today when they went out training "together".  
  
Sasuke thought hard. Everything he had done didn't seem to embarrass Naruto much. Maybe he was just shameless? No, that wasn't possible. But then again, anything was.  
  
"Damn this!!!! What can I do???" Sasuke asked himself.  
  
He banged his fists against his desk. Yes, what could he really do? Everything he had done had failed. Nothing really made Naruto get down on his knees and beg for mercy. What could he do? He banged his forehead against his desk. A large bump grew at once.  
  
"MY FACE!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! MY _BEAUTIFUL, ATTRACTIVE, EYE- CATCHING, MANLY, MASCULINE, GORGEOUS, GOOD-LOOKING WONDERFUL, LOVELY, BREATHTAKING, OUT-OF-THIS-WORLD, AWE-INSPIRING, GRAND, STRIKING, SPECTACULAR, EXTRAVAGENT, FLAWLESS, UNBLEMISHED, HOT, PRETTY, INCOMPARABLE, PERFECT IDEAL, JUST-RIGHT, FABULOUS_ FACE!!!!!!!!! WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK OF ME NOW?????????????? AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! MY FAAAAAAAAACEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"  
  
[[ Word has such a wonderful and useful synonym thing provided!! I** love** it!! ]]  
  
Sasuke began to cry. His face was disfigured, his yogurt had been insulted, his revenge worthless and ineffective, he was losing to a blonde, and he could do nothing about any of those things!!!!!!!!! Sasuke cried and cried for himself.  
  
He was pathetic!! **PATHETIC!!!!!!!**  
  
A worthless person who could not defend himself from the powers of Uzumaki Naruto, the one he had vowed to never lose against and bow down to!! AND LOOK AT HIM NOW!!  
  
He was a sniveling coward!! **A COWARD!!**  
  
He was a loser!! **A LOSER!!  
**  
And he was a crybaby. **A CRYBABY!!**  
  
And Sasuke _kept_ crying, sobbing his poor, unfortunate, little, cold heart out. He wailed and bawled like a **newborn baby**. And he kept going at it for a long time. A very long time.  
  
But, then the _evil light bulb_ in Sasuke's sinister mind went off. **YES!! **His mind was creating new ominous and_ very_** disturbing** ideas and traps for Uzumaki Naruto!!  
  
"You could..." the evil side of him whispered something to the good side of him, if Uchiha Sasuke even had a "good" side.  
  
"YESS!!!!!! I'VE GOT IT!!!!!!!!!" Sasuke laughed hard. He could do that! He really could do that!  
  
"But that will be a back up plan. I'll challenge him first... no! I'll get him to challenge me!! That way, I'm not the one who'll loose face! AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!" Sasuke threw his head back and laughed.  
  
"eh heh heh heh.... EH HEHH HEH HEHHH!! AH HAHA HA HAAA!!!!!! EEEHHEEE HEEEE HEEEE HEEE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! **EEEEEE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
-----Scene Change-----  
  
Off in the forests of Konoha, squirrels collected nuts in the peaceful and silent atmosphere. Suddenly, a sound of maniacal laughter reached their ears.  
  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO HAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAA **HAAAAAAAAAAAA**!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
The squirrels scurried for safety as fear welled up in them. What was that???? IT SOUNDED LIKE A CRAZED HYENA!!!!!! They ran for protection and dropped all the nuts they had been holding.  
  
-----Scene Change-----  
  
Sasuke's insane laughter faded.  
  
"What was that???" A Jounin named Pinocchio asked, afraid.  
  
"I don't know!!" Another Jounin named Bob the Builder stated. He, too, was afraid.  
  
"Was it Orochimaru?????" Yet another Jounin named Tinkerbell yelled.  
  
"No... I don't think so... might it have been Itachi??" Bob the Builder asked.  
  
"YOU FOOLS! OF COURSE NOT!!! At least, I don't think so..." An ANBU man we shall label Woody Woodpecker (THAT'S NOT HIS NAME... by the way I mean...) said.  
  
All in all, everyone who heard the crazed laugh was very, very afraid. They were so afraid that they were shaking in their boots and underwear and Chuunin or Jounin vest. Poor ninjas! ::shakes head::  
  
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- =-=-  
  
ARGH!! THAT WAS RATHER SHORT!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!  
  
::insert angry audience::  
  
SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Weird... I'm writing this part before my story... anyways...  
  
VOTE: Who should win this "revenge war"? Sasuke, Naruto, or neither? I was thinking of neither. It would be more fair and perhaps easier but... what do you want?  
  
ANOTHER VOTE: Should I change the title of my story? The Ideal World only works for the first chapter now... TT... What should I do? SUGGESTIONS?? AAAAAAAHH!! ::falls over::  
  
MY EMAIL: [ mochafreak171 and put the 'at' sign after that and yahoo and .com ] Yeah that's my email. I was hyper that day and just made it up. If you want, I could give you my screen name. Through email of course. SO... yeah... but, on second thought, I might not give it to you. xP  
  
BOY, my author note thingy-ma-jiggers were so long this time...  
  
AND I EDITED THIS SO MUCH!! =.=;;


	9. Operation: Defeat Naruto

New chapter!! YAY!!!!! Thank you for voting and reviewing people!!!!!!  
  
x3 PuNkRoCkBuNnY182 x3 kaekeo x3 Ukyoumon x3 kashisenshey x3 TheGreatAnimeFan x3 some weirdo x3 Skit-r4ylTBx x3 koxeogome x3 AsianEyes x3 hitomi uchiha x3  
  
Thanks to the new reviewers!! Meaning koxeogome, AsianEyes, hitomi uchiha, some weirdo, and Ukyoumon.  
  
RANDOM answers/responses

hitomi uchiha: my mind is twisted like yours? Interesting.... XD

AsianEyes: You really shouldn't eat when reading humor fanfics. You might choke and die ::worries::

Koxeogome: I MADE HIM GIGGLE... a little...

some weirdo: someone suggested the rabbit to win?? Really? Who??

Kaekeo: you're welcome!  
  
**D/C**: Naruto is not mine.  
  
ENJOY the CHAPTER!  
  
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**Operation: Defeat Naruto**  
  
Sasuke headed over to his team's meeting place. He was planning on how he would force Naruto to challenge him to a match.  
  
'I could piss him off by calling him Dobe or something. That always works...' Sasuke smirked. Naruto was just **soo** predictable.  
  
He arrived at the clearing in the forest and waited. He carefully arranged his body into his SUPER DE-DUPER Cool Pose Number Twenty-four. He had decided he should at least have a number for every 'cool' pose he thought up for. So far, he had at least sixty-five, but his all-time favorite was number twenty-four. The user had to lean against a tree and cross his arms over his chest and cross his legs ever-so-slightly. Then, the user had to put a mask of 'coolness' and indifference on his face. You really couldn't describe the pose. It was just... just... well... too _cool_!!  
  
Sakura arrived at the meeting area as soon as Sasuke was done arranging himself into his cool position.  
  
"What a _cool_ pose!!!" she thought.  
  
Then she came up to Sasuke.  
  
"Good Morning, Sasuke-kun!! Isn't today a good day to go on a date?? We could go to the movies! Or just train together..." she continued rambling.  
  
Ten minutes later and Sakura ended her ramble with, "RIGGHTTT?? PLEEEAASSEE?? Sasuke-kun???"  
  
Two minutes passed. Sasuke finally realized she was looking intently at him, as if expecting an answer for something. He blinked. "You said something...?"  
  
Sakura was oh-so-depressed. Her head drooped down and she slowly walked away. 'I was rejected... rejected so easily... I was ignored...ignored by the love of my life.....'  
  
Sasuke twitched. 'Oh...kay.... That was weird. Was it something I said?'  
  
But, he stopped worrying about what he had done, for, who should arrive, but.... BUT.... _Kakashi-sensei_!! Sasuke was _very_ disappointed. He wanted Naruto to come. HIS NARUTO!! WHERE WAS HIS NARUTO??!! Yet, he couldn't help but be surprised at Kakashi's sudden and early appearance!  
  
Sasuke gaped at him. "YOU'RE EARLY?!?!?!"  
  
Sakura hadn't noticed that Kakashi was there yet because she was still in the 'down-and-out-and-very-depressed' mode. She was also facing away from them while mumbling things to herself.  
  
Kakashi sweat dropped. "Uh... yeah... just came to tell you that we'll be taking a day off today..." A new volume of Itcha Itcha Paradise was coming out today and he wanted to be the very first one to get his hands on it. Afterwards, he wanted to find Jiraiya-sama and force him to sign his book. Consequently, he had no time to train his proud and strong team today! Even though every single one on his team wanted to get stronger, he just had to get that book today and be the first to get the perverted and sick- minded writer to sign it!!!  
  
Sasuke blinked. "Okay... but why isn't Naruto here??"  
  
"Oh... he's at home sleeping. He got a stomach-ache from eating too much ramen or something. Oh yeah, something about the milk going bad at Ino's party yesterday...."  
  
Sasuke's eyebrow twitched. Naruto was always drinking milk that had gone bad. And he never learned his lesson either. Poor guy was illiterate when it came to reading expiration dates.  
  
"I see..."  
  
"OKAY!! Then I'll see you tomorrow!! Uh... tell the other two, too!!" Sakura still hadn't noticed that her teacher was there. Kakashi looked over at her and sweat dropped again.  
  
POOF! A puff of smoke appeared and then, he was gone.  
  
Sasuke groaned. Now what could he do?? He couldn't challenge Naruto because he was sick! And Naruto would probably be sick the whole damn week!!  
  
'DAMN IT!!' And Sasuke proceeded to beat up the tree he had been leaning against.  
  
-----An hour later-----  
  
Sasuke's tree was now completely demolished and he decided he would stop training for today and go home and talk to his beloved bunny rabbit. He had already fed Qutey, but he still wanted to see her lovely white fur and red eyes. Furthermore, Sakura was still in her depressed mode and he decided to get out of there before things got too scary around her.  
  
As he was heading out of the clearing, the one he sought to defeat was walking into the forest!! Sasuke let out a yelp of joy and sauntered over to Naruto where he **hug**- I mean, **yelled** at him.  
  
"BAKA!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??" Sasuke screamed, shoving his face into Naruto's.  
  
"Meeting Kakashi-sensei, Birdo-fan."  
  
_'What??? WHAT DID HE CALL ME?'_ Sasuke screamed inside. He twitched.  
  
"He said you were sick today, too!!!" Sasuke yelled.  
  
"I was, but I feel better now."  
  
"Oh..."  
  
Naruto studied Sasuke's face for a while. "Your face is ugly."  
  
"WHAT???"  
  
"Your face is ugly. Get it out of mine or my face will become contaminated."  
  
Naruto walked right past Sasuke without saying anything else to him.  
  
_'**No!!** I must get him to challenge me!'_  
  
Sasuke ran in front of Naruto again.  
  
"Baka!! Kakashi already left!! We're taking a day off today!! AND WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME??? MY FACE IS NOT UGLY!! IT'S...IT'S..." Sasuke realized he couldn't exactly say beautiful. So he shut up.  
  
Seconds passed before Naruto responded.  
  
"Hmm? You said something?" Naruto inquired.  
  
That was the last straw for Sasuke. He exploded.  
  
"THAT'S IT!!!!!!!! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A FIGHT!!!!" His index finger shot out and pointed at Naruto's nose.  
  
Naruto stared at Sasuke. "Nope."  
  
You could literally see the fire and steam coming out of Sasuke's mouth, ears, and eyes.  
  
"TOO BAD!!!" Sasuke drew his finger back and threw a kunai at Naruto. Naruto merely dodged it.  
  
"I said no."  
  
Operation: Get Naruto to Challenge Me Without Me Having to Bat An Eyelid was hopelessly ignored and thrown aside by Sasuke's evil and reckless side. Instead, _he_ was the one who challenged Naruto and was _so _intent on killing and beating him. Sasuke had had it all planned out that Naruto would be the one going crazy and, obviously, the opposite effect was happening.  
  
Sasuke continued to throw rabbit punches, rabbit kicks (he learned both attacks from his best friend, Qutey!!), weapons, and fire attacks at Naruto. However, every attack he threw at Naruto was so easily dodged. When had Naruto gotten so ...POWERFUL??  
  
The fight continued on and on with Naruto dodging every offensive move Sasuke made calmly and without soiling his clothes and Sasuke hurling attacks at him madly. Sasuke was very angry that nothing was hitting Naruto. And he was getting more ticked off by the minute.  
  
Naruto began to laugh.  
  
"I'M GONNA... KILL YOU!!!" He yelled as he threw more weapons at Naruto. Naruto simply dodged every single one effortlessly.  
  
"You're acting like a monkey on crack who just had a couple of orgasms."  
  
Sasuke stared at Naruto. He didn't know what orgasms were. What were they? He growled nevertheless. He knew what crack and monkeys were. Or did he? Come to think about it, he didn't know the difference between **crack** and **LSD** and **Ecstasy** and he didn't know the difference between **monkeys** and **apes **and **prime apes**. He growled again. He did know that Naruto was insulting him... or did he??? He didn't know the difference between **insulting** and **making fun of someone** either!!! HE WAS A HOPELESS CAUSE!! GAHH!!  
  
"You're letting your rage get in the way of concentrating on actually trying to attack or injure me."  
  
"SHUT THE beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep UP!!!!!" He threw a shuriken at Naruto.  
  
"Oooh... Sasuke is cursing!! Potty mouth, potty mouth!!" Naruto yelled while watching the weapon that hadn't even been aimed whiz into the bushes ten feet away from him.  
  
"HAHAHAHHA!! YOU MISSED BY A MI-LE!!!"  
  
"DAMN YOU, YOU beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep IDIOT!!"  
  
"Potty mouth, potty mouth!"  
  
Naruto dodged another attack.  
  
"Sasuke is a potty mouth!"  
  
"ROOOOAAARR!!!!!! SHUT UP AND FIGHT ME, YOU beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Nopers, my dear monkey on crack teammate!"  
  
"AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGHHH!!!!!!"  
  
Naruto decided to finish this up. He wouldn't ever let Sasuke waste his whole day just dodging every futile attack Sasuke could possibly make.  
  
"KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!!"  
  
Masses of shadow clones appeared suddenly and all watched Sasuke with a smirk and arms crossed over their chest.  
  
"Heh heh. FINALLY you make a move!!" Sasuke grinned.  
  
But before weak little monkey-on-crack-Sasuke could activate his Sharingan (Yeah, he didn't even have it on. ::smirk::), Naruto had all his clones jump up and beat the living daylights out of Sasuke.  
  
"U-ZU-MA-KI ...... NARUTO RENDEN!!" the Naruto hordes yelled.  
  
Sasuke was left behind on the ground, his body twitching violently from the Taijitsou attack. He had a little bit of blood coming out of his nose and mouth and his beautiful face was maimed, swollen, black-and-blue, and scarred terribly. He was definitely knocked out. Naruto began to walk away.  
  
"That was way too easy..." Naruto complained.  
  
-----Nightfall-----  
  
Sasuke woke up in the same exact spot where Naruto had beaten him up. Wait... _BEATEN HIM UP_?? Sasuke began to sob, tears pouring out fast.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
He had lost to Uzumaki yet again. This time, it was soo much more pitiful than before. Sasuke sobbed and sobbed terribly. Naruto had hit Sasuke's ego and pride so much. It was one of the only soft spots that the Uchiha had.  
  
Sasuke cried and cried on the forest floor, pounding at the floor hard like a little three-year-old who hadn't gotten what he or she wanted.  
  
'Stop crying, you baby!' the evil side of him yelled and scolded.  
  
'But I lost to HIM!!' the baby/good/weak side of Sasuke blubbered.  
  
'So what?? Remember the back up plans we had planned out together???'  
  
'Oh... oh, yeah!!'  
  
'We will use that!'  
  
Sasuke began to laugh crazily again. He had so much in store for Naruto.  
  
"He'll **never** know what hit him!!!" Sasuke giggled. [[AHHAHA!! I added it in!!!]]  
  
Then he laughed terrifyingly.  
  
He would SO have his revenge!!!  
  
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HmM... that wasn't that good. ::frowns:: Oh, well! I've got more ideas up my sleeve you know! ::grins::

**LAST NOTE:** OMG!! I WROTE A TRAGEDY/ROMANCE FIC AND I FINISHED IT! [one-shot] It's called I'm Sorry. It's SO unlike me to write that FanFic but... what the heck.


	10. Sasuke Goes Toony Loony

Hullo once again people!! **Thanks for the reviews!!! LOVE YOU LOTS!!**

x3 PuNkRoCkBuNnY182 x3 kaekeo x3 kashisenshey x3 Anime Gen.Naruto x3 TheGreatAnimeFan x3 hikariko x3 anonymous x3 Darkfire22 x3

Extra thanks to those who are new reviewers!!

Skit-r4ylTBx: I FORGOT TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION!!!!!!!!!! SORRY!!!!!!! I WILL ANSWER HERE!!!!!! Um... I don't eat that much sugar before I write my chapters, it's just my mind!!! I'M INSANE!!!! BUAHAHAHHA!!

PuNkRoCkBuNnY: YEAH!! I thought of that too! GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE!! But I left it the way it was cause it sounded funny. XD

Anime Gen.Naruto: Perhaps I will take your suggestion. =)

Anonymous: DON'T WORRY! I will make Sasuke look even worse... in this chapter!! XD read to find out.

So enjoy the chapter people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

**NOTE: THIS CHAPTER IS THE EDITED VERSION...**

How long has it been??? A week since I last updated? Sorry. FanFic wouldn't let me upload for some reason. It finally worked TODAY...

Please enjoy the edited version of chapter ten...

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**Sasuke Goes Toony Loony**

It was already around six o'clock when Sasuke woke up in the forest and by the time he was done with his insane laughter and plots, it was 6:25!! Sasuke glanced at his super cool glow in the dark Power Puff watch. He gasped

"OH, NO! MY TV SHOW IS ON!"

And suddenly he forgot about defeating Naruto. He ran lightning speed home and flicked the Limited Edition Hello Kitty 14 Inch Screen TV in his bedroom on. He jumped up and down on his bed crazily.

"YAY!! LOONEY TUNES!!" he screamed.

And he quickly settled on his bed to watch as the Looney Tune theme song started. Sasuke sang along with his friends happily.

-----Half An Hour Later-----

"And D-d-d-d-Dat's All Folks!!" Sasuke yelled and fell on his bed laughing gleefully, thinking about today's show.

"It's too bad. The coyote was **sooo **close to catching Road Runner," he giggled.

He sighed. "I wanted to watch more though. Looney Tunes is my second to favorite show..."

He was about to turn off his TV when another show popped up on the screen! It was his all-time favorite called....!

"OH MY...!! I DIDN'T KNOW THEY STILL HAD THIS SHOW ON!! YAY!!!!!!"

He settled on his bed to watch. "YAHHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! THE PINK PANTHER!!!!!!!"

The theme song soon started and a very happy Sasuke sung along with it.

"Du-dum. Du-Dum. Du-Dum Du-Dum Du-Dum. Dum Dum Dum DUM-UM-UM-UM!!" Sasuke hummed.

"I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH!!!!!!!"

Then a picture of an outfit popped into his head.

"OH, YEAH!! I GOTTA FIND THAT RIGHT NOW AND PUT IT ON!! I HAVE TO SHOW IT TO THE PINK PANTHER!!!" So he ran into his closet of assorted pink outfits and began rummaging in it while watching the Pink Panther at the same time. How he does he do that? Don't ask me!

-----Scene Change-----

"AHHHH... I'm so full now! Ramen is the best for dinner for some reason!!"

Naruto smiled and headed to his house, thinking about this night's dinner.

As Naruto had started eating his first bowl of ramen, Hinata had come along and joined him. After a while of chatting, Naruto, being the all-star number-one ninja sensed someone was watching them. He turned to see... IRUKA-SENSEI TRYING TO TAKE PICTURES OF THE TWO TOGETHER!!

Of course, Naruto attacked and beat Iruka-sensei to a pulp with his Kage Bunshin no Jitsu. Then he forced Iruka to tell him why he had a disposable camera and was taking pictures of him and Hinata together.

His response was a pathetic one.

"Errr... Hokage-sama wanted some er... pictures to see um... how you and Hinata are doing. I mean, the Rookie Nine! He wanted to see what all of you were doing. He didn't have time to come around to see for himself so... uh... he put me on this mission to take pictures of you two I mean the Rookie Nine..." And he kept blabbering away about how Hokage-sama had to pay the bills and so on and so on.

Obviously, Naruto figured he was lying and was hired by someone else to take pictures, but he decided it didn't matter if he kept the camera.

"Whatever, Iruka-sensei. You're lying. I'm not stupid."

Iruka gaped at him. "How did you know? I mean! I'm not lying!"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "I'm keeping the camera."

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!!!!"

"Too bad!!" Naruto stuck his tongue out at his old teacher. "HA HA HA! Come on, Hinata! I'll walk you home."

"GIVE ME THE CAMERA AND I'LL TELL YOU THE TRUTH!! I mean... I was never lying..."

But Naruto and Hinata just left the poor confused guy in the middle of street.

Naruto had already finished walking Hinata home and now, he was heading to his own house, which was, by the way, on the way to Sasuke's house.

"Hmmm... what should I do to with this camera?" Naruto thought. "I could take pictures of Sakura-chan. Or Kakashi in his house with his mask off and then blackmail him... Hmm... what to do?"

As he neared Sasuke's house, he heard some sounds floating out of an open window. Naruto wanted to see what Sasuke was doing so he climbed into the tree that was next to the open window quietly and looked in.

He almost screamed and feinted at what he saw.

Sasuke was wearing a Pink Panther Halloween costume that was **way** too small for him while watching a TV that had Hello Kitty and Power Puff girl stickers plastered all over it! Plus, the room Sasuke was in (Naruto deducted it was his room) was filled with pinkness! There was what looked like a Hello Kitty diary on his desk, a pink office chair (the swivel kind), pink bed spreads on Sasuke's bed, a pink lamp, a pink cup holding pink writing utensils, and much more other weird pink things. Naruto stared around Sasuke's room, surprised and shocked to see all the stuff that packed the room. Then he turned his attention to the Uchiha yet again.

Sasuke was giggling like a girl because he thought that the pink panther show was just so funny. He swung his legs like a three-year-old girl and laughed uproariously whenever something delightful happened. He suddenly jumped out of bed.

"I WANNA BE LIKE YOU MR. PINK PANTHER! CAN YOU SEE ME PINKY? I'M A PINK PANTHER, TOO!!!!!!!!!!" Sasuke screamed girlishly.

"I LOVE YOU!!" Then he suddenly ran up to the TV and started kissing it whenever a close up of the pink panther was shown.

Meanwhile, Naruto was fighting back a tidal wave of nausea. Then, he remembered the camera. It was perfect! He could get Sasuke back for calling him names right now!

Naruto fumbled with the camera and didn't think of putting the flash on (lucky for him XD). He quickly snapped pictures of Sasuke kissing the TV, dancing, hugging the TV, screaming with delight (yeah, his mouth was open), and jumping on his bed. Obviously, Sasuke was dressed in his Pink Panther costume in all of the pictures.

The Pink Panther was now ending on TV.

"NOOOO!!! STAY WITH ME, PINKY PANTHER!!" But the show ended anyway with the pink panther oblivious to Sasuke's cries for him to stay on his TV.

Sasuke began to cry.

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU BROKE MY HEART, PINKYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sasuke sobbed and fell over on the floor, pounding the wood with his fist, screaming like a three-yea-old who didn't get what he wanted.

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! I WANT PINKY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Naruto twitched but continued to take pictures. What he would **_GIVE_** for a camcorder right now.

"NOOOOO!!!" Sasuke screamed and stood up. He stomped his foot a couple of times. "GIVE ME PINKY BACK, TV!!!" Sasuke ran over to the TV and pounded it with his fists. Astonishingly, it didn't break! Shows you how weak Sasuke really is, doesn't it?

"WAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sasuke cried. "FINE!! BE THAT WAY PINKY!! I HATE YOU!! I HATE YOU!!"

Naruto blinked a couple of times. Then he pinched himself. He wasn't dreaming. This was reality. And Naruto was terrified. Very terrified he was.

"I'LL JUST WATCH POWERPUFF GIRLS FROM NOW ON INSTEAD OF YOUR SHOWS!!!"

Naruto stared incredulously. Powerpuff Girls?? What was wrong with the Uchiha? Naruto guessed that either he was high on Ecstasy or that he was drunk. Big time.

Sasuke dove back into his special closet of crimson and came flying back out.

Naruto fell out of the tree after glancing at his new outfit. He was dressed as Blossom from the Powerpuff Girls. You know, the pink one.

Naruto snapped his last picture and then ran off. He didn't want to be seen by Sasuke, at all. He snickered. First thing tomorrow, he would go to ShopRite and get his film processed. "I can't wait to see people's reactions when they see this! Especially Sakura-chan's face... THAT WILL BE SO COOL!! Then she'll like me better than Pink Panther Loving Sasuke!!!!!!"

Naruto had stars in his eyes as he ran home, but he wasn't paying attention to where he was going. He slammed into a telephone pole.

If Sasuke was there taking a walk at that time, he would have started laughing madly at the hilarious sight yet again.

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Hee hee hee hee hee that was sooooo fun!!! I just had chocolate and ice cream and it sure helped me write it!!! XD SUGAR IS BRAIN FOOD AND A DRUG (A STIMULANT). Always take sugar when writing Humor Fanfics/Stories. Heh heh heh... that's a lesson learned for me!!

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Edit:

**REMEMBER:** that was the edited version...

Thank you to the following who reviewed the original version of this chapter!!

x3 TheGreatAnimeFan x3 PuNkRoCkBuNnY182 x3 kashisenshey x3 Darkfire22 x3 hikariko x3 koxeogome x3

koxeogome: Nah I don't hate Naruto!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HIM!!!!!! but when you get hyper and insane things tend to get out of hand, right? Heh..

Thank you to the only one who reviewed my Notices: x33 Frost Fae x33

**Frost Fae:** HEY! Thanks for reviewing my Notices when no one else did. I dont know how many reviews I want. But for the last two chapters, this one and the Notices received only six reviews. Three if you average it out. Additionally, I also got a review from a person who discouraged me from writing. However, I did clear upp things with that person so... it's all good. " YAY!! And Frost Fae-san, because you kinda hellped me find myself again, I want to give you a certain token of appreciation. **EXPECT AN EMAIL FROM ME SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

_**PLEASE REVIEW!!** because right now I really need moral support..._


	11. Kiba fucked up a BITCH?

THIS IS THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER 11... I'M LEAVING IT HERE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE IT...

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Notices

Sorry people. This isn't a chapter at all. If you read the title of the chapter in the chapter selection, you will see that it says Notices. That's right people! This very huge author's note of mine is a bunch of Notices for you. I'M SORRY!!!! You must all hate me now. TT... It's been more than a week and you only get a chapter that's not a chapter at all. I'M SORRY!! But I have important things to say. **YOU MUST READ THIS!**

School is starting in September for me sometime and I'm just gonna say now there will be very little updates on any of my stories if none at all. Let's just say I'm in High School and I don't wanna juggle school, instrument lessons, other stuff and of course this. So I'm dropping this along with some other internet sites I have.

Sigh... I'm also not getting the number of reviews that I was aiming for. And when I reread my story I found so many places that needed correcting and more "spiffing up". So for the rest of this summer you shall only see Edited Versions of the Original Drafts [Yes, they were drafts. I'm such a bad author. =.="]. If I still do not get enough reviews I will discontinue this story because if there's no one reading it, then I believe there's no point. Seriously. So as of now, there will only be ten chapters for the rest of the summer.

Chapter Titles will also be modified. One word Titles are kinda strange to me now. So the chapters themselves and the titles will change a bit. I might also add parts to my story to make it a little bit longer and funnier so if you don't want to miss anything, I would suggest rereading my story as the edits and changes pop up.

Did you get all that? Hopefully you did. If ya didn't, just reread it. Hee... Until my next slooww updates, BYE!

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Yeah... that was the previous chapter 11. It says that this isn't a real chapter, BUT NOW IT IS!! I didn't feel like changing the whole thing so... yeah...

**INTERMISSION TIME!!** I know you're all dying to know what happened after Naruto saw Sasuke... well, you know what happened. I won't repeat myself. Ahh... I'm sorry about not continuing the real story and all... writer's block is very bad. So is school. And... yeah. I just had to do this especially since I sorta came up with the idea when I was talking to someone about a guy I know and his dog at a party... Well, what I'm trying to say is... Imagine me as Naruto in the chapter okay? I came up with the idea!!!!!!!!!!!! Hehehehehhehe... SO ENJOY THE CHAPTER!!

**D/C:** All Naruto characters do not belong to me... except Neji... hehehehehe

**NOTES:** **THIS CHAPTER IS RATHER DISTURBING. DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ. DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.**

x3 Anime Gen.Naruto x3 Darkfire22 x3 TheGreatAnimeFan x3

Thank you to those who actually reviewed. Love you lots!!!!!!!

Oh yeah... **TO ALL REVIEWERS!!!!! WHOEVER REVIEWS ON THE 100TH REVIEW GETS A PERSONAL PRIZE FROM ME... if people even review that is... BUT ANYWAYS WHOEVER DOES THAT WILL GET A SPECIAL PRIZE FROM ME!!!!!!!!!**

-x- -x- -x- -x-

**Kiba fucked up a BITCH????**

One very sunny and wonderful day, Team Seven was doing what they did most of their time – waiting for their teacher at the usual meeting place. Butterflies danced, flowers swayed, and clouds floated by gently. All was calm and peaceful.

Sakura was half asleep, content and warm. Naruto was busy out catching butterflies and Sasuke was doing what he usually does. You know, Super Cool Pose Number 506. Other than the part about Naruto out catching butterflies, it was a very normal and peaceful day. But little did they know, this perfect moment was about to be spoiled by a certain somebody. No, it's not who you think. Well, maybe it is, but it wasn't Kakashi. It was...

"AKAMARU!!!!! FETCH THE STICK!!!!!!!!!"

That should clear up the confusion right?

Yes, it was the Number _TWO _most hyperactive, loud, and obnoxious ninja, Inuzuka Kiba!!

He was on the other side of the field and was playing with his little pup, Akamaru.

"GOOD BOY AKAMARU!!! YOU CAUGHT IT IN MIDAIR!!"

Sakura's vein popped. She had been dosing off one moment and then was forced awake the next. She was getting pissed. Unfortunately, the oblivious dog master was coming closer to Team 7, shouting all the way.

"YAY!!!!!!! AKAMARU!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Naruto was getting angry as well. Kiba's voice had scared all the pretty butterflies away and now he had nothing to do!! NOO!!

"FETCH IT AGAIN BOY!!!!!!!!!"

Sasuke was acting very un-Sasuke like right now. His vein had also popped and he was currently eyebrow twitching fast. His hair stood on end, like that of a cat's. Either it was Kiba's voice that bothered him or Kiba's stench. It was one or the other. Or maybe even both.

"YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! YA DID IT!!!!!!!! OH YA OH YA YOU DID IT!!!!!!!"

Kiba was now fifteen feet away from Team Seven and their popped veins. He was still clueless that they were angry at him. Heck, he didn't know that they were even there!!!!

That is, he didn't until...

"SHUT UP, KIBA!!"

"YOU JUST RUINED MY DAY!!"

"You're louder than Dobe over there."

Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke yelled, screamed, and said.

Kiba and Akamaru jumped high into the air. "GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T SCARE ME LIKE THAT!!!!!!!"

"WOOF WOOF ARF BARK BOW WOW GRRRR!! GRR WOOF BARK ARF WOW BOW!!!"

"TOO BAD WE JUST DID!!!!!!"

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH, KIBA AND NARUTO!!!!!!"

"Shut up, Dobe and Loudmouth and Sparky or whatever his name is."

"SHUT UP!! HIS NAME IS AKAMARUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Right. Bakamaru. Whatever."

"IT'S AKAMARU!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"YEAH SASUKE!!! BEAT KIBA UP!!!"

"NO I WILL!!!"

"NO YOU CAN'T BEAT ME UP CAUSE I GOT ME FRIEND AKAMARU HERE!! AND HIS NAME IS NOT BAKAMARU!!!!!!!!!!!"

"WOOF!! ARRROOOO!!"

"KIBA, JUST SHUT UP!! I'LL LICK- I MEAN, KICK YOUR ASS!!!!"

"AKAMARU IS WITH ME TIL THE END!!!!!!"

"BOW WOW! BOW WOW!"

"Tell the little bow-wow to shut up."

"NOOO!! THIS COUNTRY HAS THE FREEDOM OF SPEECH IN ITS GETTYSBURG ADDRESS!!!! I ALLOW AKAMARU TO SAY WHATEVER HE WANTS!!!"

"SHUT UP!! THIS IS JAPAN! NOT THE US!! AND THAT'S THE BILL OF RIGHTS NOT THE GETTYSBURG ADDRESS!!! EVEN NARUTO SHOULD KNOW THAT!!!"

There was a long moment of silence as Naruto registered what Sakura had just said.

"... We're in JAPAN?????"

::CRASH::

"IDIOT!!!!"

::PUNCH::

"OW OW OW!!! STOP SAKURA-CHAN!! I DIDN'T KNOW THAT THIS WAS JAPAN!! I THOUGHT WE LIVED IN NAPAJAKEWAWABOOBOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"SHUT UP!! THAT PLACE DOESN'T EXIST!!!!!!"

"YEAH!!!! SHOWS HOW STUPID YOU ARE, NARUTO-CHAN!!!!!!!"

"KIBA I'M GONNA ILL YOU!!!!!!!!"

"JUST TRY IT!! AKAMARU IS HERE FOR ME!!!!"

"ARF ARF ARRROOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

::POOF:: "Yo!"

"YOU'RE LATE!"

"Well... I was uh... setting my alarm clock and I twisted too hard so it broke and I tried to fix it for the next..."

"LIAR!!"

"Yeah, yeah... whatever... oh, Kiba. Your teacher and team is wating for you. Remember? Training..."

"OH MY GOD!! WE'RE LATE FOR TRAINING!! KURENAI AND HINATA AND SHINO MUST HAVE STARTED WITHOUT US!! THEY BETTER HAVE WAITED FOR US!!! LET'S GO, AKAMARU!!!"

"ARF ARF!!!"

"HELL YEAH!!!!!"

"BARK BARK AROOOOO WOOF WOOF!!"

And then... all was peace and quiet. Except for a very angry Sakura.

"Sheesh! Kiba and Akamaru are so alike!! Like owner, like dog, I say." Sakura huffed and puffed and blew Kakashi down.

"You mean sort of like father like son thingy?" Naruto asked.

"NO!! THOSE TWO ARE NOT RELATED!! SO THAT SAYING WON'T WORK!! HAHA ,I WIN NARUTO!!"

A crafty grin graced Naruto's features.

"How do you know they're not related? Maybe..." He tilted his head to the side. "MAYBE Kiba fucked up a bitch!!"

**::PAUSE::**

Koinux: Bitch, as in female dog, okay?? Hehe...

Sakura: No duh...

**::UNPAUSE::**

Images of Kiba humping a dog in heat entered their oh-so-innocent minds (that doesn't apply for Kakashi).

"EWWWWWW!!!!!" (Sakura turned red)

::nosebleed:: (Kakashi _wants _to imagine this)

::hurl:: (Sasuke did exactly what that says)

"But it really might be true!! Have you ever thought why Kiba and Akamaru acted so... together-ish when they were around each other?? Maybe they're related!!"

"IDIOT!! OR MAYBE THEY'RE JUST BEST FRIENDS!!!" Sakura punched Naruto.

"OWW!! BUT IT'S POSSIBLE!! ANYTHING IS!!!!"

"OF COURSE NOT YOU MORON!! HUMANS AND DOGS ARE OF DIFFERENT SPECIES AND ORGANISMS FROM DIFFERENT SPECIES CANNOT IMPREGNATE EACH OTHER!! IT'S FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE!! SO IF A DOG REALLY GOT LAID BY KIBA IT WOULD NEVER GET PREGNANT!! BUT KIBA IS NOT THAT TYPE OF PERSON SO THERE!! HE LOVES DOGS TOO MUCH!!"

And she went on and on about Kiba and how it was never possible for such stupid things to happen.

Sasuke groaned, face still red from thinking of such inhumane things. "How stupid..."

"But Naruto _could _be right, Sakura. I heard from somewhere, I forgot where, that AIDS had been transmitted from _monkey_ to _human_. It must have happened down in Africa since there are _thousands _of baboons and prime apes and monkeys to screw day and night. Also, AIDS is a disease only transferred through the action of sex. Thus, meaning that humans down there did it with monkeys or prime apes or whatever then decided to do it with a human. Henceforth, there are those out there willing to do animals for pleasure and_ Kiba_ might be one of them. You never know..." And Kakashi went on and on about how people could want to fuck the living daylights out of animals and so on.

By this time, Sasuke had turned purple in the face and was staring at Kakashi as if he had just been peeping at him while he had gone to the lavatory facility to do business and trade with the toilets.

He could almost imagine Kakashi watching him as he said, "Hello, Toilet. I'll give you my products if you give me some space to dispose them at. What? In your mouth? Sure, sure! We'll both get what you want. Me, a place to put my waste, and you, something to eat," and then Kakashi would continue watching as Sasuke pulled his pants down and sat on the toilet and began to grunt as...

**::PAUSE::**

Koinux: OKAY, LET'S STOP RIGHT THERE. This is getting waaaayy out of hand.

Sasuke: I KNOW!!! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU PUT ME DOING THAT?

Koinux: Because... I love you? Nahh... Neji is hotter and cooler and stronger than you...

Sasuke: WHAT??

Koinux: Okay... back to the story.

**::UNPAUSE::**

...his waste began to...

::**FAST FORWARD::**

Sakura, too, had turned purple in the face and was staring at Kakashi as if he had just given them a mission to go to a nearby cliff and jump off for no reason. Her eyes showed disbelief as Kakashi went on and on about how men might have the urge to do something and then grabbed the nearest thing closest to them and BOOM! They just did a monkey. Sakura turned away and covered her ears. It was too much for her. Way too much. And she was afraid.

Naruto, on the other hand, didn't mind Kakashi's rant. He wasn't even listening. Actually, if he did, he wouldn't understand at all. But, let's just say he wasn't listening. Naruto stood there facing away from the other three, all the while laughing with glee inside. He would tell everyone that Kiba was Akamaru's father! And Kiba would get angry at him! And Naruto would have pulled the weirdest yet funniest prank in all time! HAHA! Maniacal laughter rang in Naruto's head as his grin grew wider and wider with each and every passing moment. Kiba would be humiliated! AHAHA!

Kakashi had already finished his long rant and was now smiling. Sakura and Sasuke had listened to the entire thing and their bodies were shaking from grief. They were scarred forever.

"No... I can't believe I let him scar me for life..." Sasuke thought as he desperately clutched his stomach.

"I'm forever poisoned..." Sakura stated within that huge forehead of hers. "Oh, no... WHAT WILL I DO NOW??"

Kakashi only grinned more at their appearance. "Okay! Let's go train now!"

Upon hearing the word 'train', Naruto instantly squealed with delight, all thoughts of humiliating Kiba vanished into nothingness as he totally forgot about bringing Kiba down. "WHERE?? TRAIN WHERE??"

"Down in the forest somewhere."

"YEAH!! TRAIN TRAIN TRAIN!!!!!!!"

Naruto ran into the forest away from Kakashi and his sick students.

Little did Kakashi, Sakura, and Sasuke know that Naruto was not looking for a place to train, he was looking for **atrain**. Yes, he had so easily misunderstood Kakashi.

The other two teammates wanted to get from the old perverted man that had poisoned them and tried to run after Naruto. Their efforts were futile, as both fell over from taking the first step.

"Oh? Can't stand, Sasuke, Sakura? Do I need to carry you?"

Both saw the glint in the man's eye and screeched, their energy coming back to them fast.

"NOOO!! WE CAN WALK BY OURSELVES!!" And then, they were gone in a flash.

Kakashi chuckled. Yes, everyday was like any other.... **_usually_**...

-x- -x- -x- -x-

HOW WAS IT?? I thought it was quite enjoyable... HAHAHAHA... ROFL... I'm so weird. Ah, well. Hope some people enjoyed it as much as I did.

Remember, I will repeat myself, "TO ALL REVIEWERS!!!!! WHOEVER REVIEWS ON THE 100TH REVIEW GETS A PERSONAL PRIZE FROM ME... if people even review that is... BUT ANYWAYS WHOEVER DOES THAT WILL GET A SPECIAL PRIZE FROM ME!!!!!!!!!"

Okay?? GREAT!! Later!!!!!


	12. Discontinuation?

Hey, everybody!

This is a note to tell everyone that this story will be... discontinued for a while. Honestly, I do have new ideas for this story, but not the motivation. On top of that, I think my writing became more professional. After all, it was what? Almost half an year since I last updated? Yep.

So unless I can sort of edit the story to be more professional or get some more motivation to write more, this story will be stopped. If this semi-hiatus lasts for a really long time, then you can say that the story died at its peak.

Sorry for any dissappointment I've caused, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Ko Inu x


End file.
